Strange as it may seem, this life is based on a true story." - Ashleigh Brilliant


name: shanna
age: 28
sign: scorpio
live: louisiana
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Wednesday, July 30, 2003

So Monday I got a new supervisor. I was not happy about this (see Jul 28 post), but I finally got it set in my mind that I was going to make the best of it. By completing things that have been sitting around for *years* (b/c he wouldn't do them) in a matter of weeks, I was being given a chance to shine. Not that I think anyone around here would notice anymore.

On Tuesday, I emailed our Human Resources person to start the paperwork for my raise. Three years ago I was put into a "training position" - which means I advanced every year for three years until completing the session. Doing this would give me the equivalent of a college degree in the i.t. field with the state - so I was eager to complete it. This August would've been the last increase, and my pay would've gone up by 7%. Imagine my shock (and dismay) when I was told the position was only allocated for two levels. I know I am qualified for the 3rd level, but there is a problem. They'll never approve it for me.

Why? Have I not put in three years of hard work, always had my work completed in a timely manner, *and* gone out of my way to help others and improve the efficiency of work done by all sections and our field inspectors? Yes - yes a thousand times over, which is how I've worked myself up to the position I am at now (I started here in 2000 as a simple data-entry clerk). Does not the other i.t. person here make 3x's (or more) what I make for doing, essentially, the same job? (I'm not exaggerating for effect here...he really does) What reason could they have for denying me, then? It's simple, you see. This agency is fucked up. It's run completely haphazard and unfairly - favoritism gets you to the top here. Not hard work.

I've been here long enough to see it happen many times to many different people. If you're on the shit list, you're screwed. There's no way around it. It never affected me because I was one of the "stars" - they loved me. So how did I end up on the shit list? First, I should clarify that it is *his* shit list. The big boss. I can't say more without possibly getting myself in a world of trouble - but if he doesn't like you, he doesn't like you and that's all there is to it. End of story. He used to love me - he saw that I was a hard worker and went over my job requirements to help the agency. What happened? As insane as this may sound - my fall from grace actually had nothing to do with anything that I did.

In July of 2002 I had knee surgery to correct a lifelong knee problem that had gotten so bad I could no longer function as a normal person. Years of wear and tear on an already bad knee had made my condition even worse, and the surgery ended up hurting more than helping. To make a long story short, everything froze up. I've been on crutches ever since and fighting to regain my mobility that doctors say could be gone forever. What in the world does this have to do with my job? Nothing - that's the point. It hasn't hindered my ability to do my job at all - I wouldn't let it. I don't let it hinder my life at all anymore. But to him, it was a weakness - a failure. He believes I "gave up". Yes, it's personal - yes it is completely wrong for him to deny me a deserved raise because of his personal thoughts about me. But that's how it is.

Of course, in the end, he could prove me wrong. But I doubt it. Co-workers I've talked to about it agree with me - "there's no way he'll approve it." He hasn't spoken to me in months - walking by my cubicle in silence after stopping to greet everyone else nearby. Well you know what? Fuck you, you pompous, old asshole. I've worked my ass off for him and this agency for too damn long - and if he can't see straight to compensate me for it, or at least try to help me advance to the status of my peer - I'm outta this fucking hellhole.

And it's not just this - you wouldn't believe the shit that goes on here. The favoritism - the people being hired and given extra benefits because of "who they know" or "what family" they come from. I'm ready to be out of it - away from it. I don't even care anymore; otherwise I wouldn't be posting this (for fear of getting fired).

Anyone hiring a cute, fiery and hard-working i.t. tech?? ;)

- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 11:22 AM

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