Strange as it may seem, this life is based on a true story." - Ashleigh Brilliant


name: shanna
age: 28
sign: scorpio
live: louisiana
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Thursday, October 30, 2003

I got this email 3x's yesterday - which is amazing. It only took a few hours for the morons I work with to realize it was all bullshit.

My name is Bill Palmer, founder of Applebees. In an attempt to get our name out to more people in the rural communities where we are not currently located, we are offering a $50 gift certificate to anyone who forwards this email to 9 of their friends. Just send this email to them and you will receive an email back with a confirmation number to claim your gift certificate.

Bill Palmer
Founder of Applebees Visit us at:

Hey guys,
It really works, I tried it and got my Gift certificate confirmation
number in 3 minutes.

You're a lying sack of shit. Because it is absolutely, 100%, without a doubt impossible for a forwarded email to cause anything to happen to your computer.

Let's be logical here - or try and pretend we have an ounce of common sense. How is sending out an email going to make another email appear in your Inbox? Think about it - I know most of you aren't very computer savvy, but this isn't a tough one. Do you believe that this magical email not only knows you've forwarded the email to exactly 9 of your poor friends, but also notifies Applebee's email account with your correct email address and then sends you this amazing certificate?

Too steep for you? Let's dumb it down, then. Forget the computer. Are you dim-witted enough to believe that Applebee's is going to give a $50 GIFT CERTIFICATE to every nine people that send out an email? Do you realize how much money this would cost them? (I'm no math whiz, but we're talking about their shelling out $450 an email!) Do you think they really are using this as some sly marketing program to hook patrons in places they are "not currently located"?? What would be the point? Where is the profit? Have you ever eaten at Applebee's? Do you know how much you'd have to order to use $50? $50 people. Hello???.

Just for shits & giggles, I replied to the co-worker that first sent it to me (she's the one that talks like a 6-year old girl). "Did you get your certificate?" I asked, innocently.

"No," she wrote back. "It's all a big HOAX!"

No shit, sherlock.

There should be some type of law banning email access to idiots that forward moronic things like this. Anyone to second that motion?

Yes, I sound very bitter - but it's aggravating to have your Inbox filled up with nothing but junk and useless crap. This is my work email; I use it for work and to pass the rare and occasional really, funny joke. Some people use it to minister to everyone in the office and to praise their god (you know the ones), some people use it to drive others crazy, and some just obviously like to prove their stupidity. For whatever reason they send me all this bilge, it's aggravating as hell. Can I get an "Amen"?

- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 7:45 AM

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