Strange as it may seem, this life is based on a true story." - Ashleigh Brilliant


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name: shanna
age: 28
sign: scorpio
live: louisiana
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The current mood of shanna at www.imood.com

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Pin-up girl by Rion Vernon; used with permission. Header design by the totally awesome Rose. The rest by moi.


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Tuesday, December 30, 2003

Ok - I've been trying to get up the strength to post Xmas pics (I've got a few gems), but I've been stricken with a severe upper respiratory sinus infection since Sunday. I should be back into the swing of things soon - as this is my last day of lying around the house and healing. If I don't get back here before then, Happiest of New Years to each and every one of you!


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 1:33 PM
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Saturday, December 27, 2003

Now, I've heard it all - this just really takes the cake. I've heard of some pretty interesting things to sue over for some quick and effortless cash, but this just about tops the list, wouldn't you say?



- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 12:32 PM
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Thursday, December 25, 2003

Merry Christmas, Happy Yule, Happy Hanukah, etc etc etc to you & yours!!


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 8:42 AM
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Monday, December 22, 2003

A quick note as I get ready to go into the office for "THE BIG MOVE" at the ungodly hour of 6:30 am.

I have a fotolog thing going on now. Haven't been much on the up and up with posting yet, but as soon as this holiday, moving-at-work crap is over, I will be more on the ball with it. I've been wanting to start taking more artistic pictures with my digital camera - in other words, something other than the usual snap and shoot of drunk friends and family holidays. Now that I have a place to share them, I might get off my ass and actually start doing it.

Got a statcounter for this page that shows keywords for how people find this blog. Apparently I am the hot spot for finding pictures of the "sundarburban dead picture". Who knew stupid emails could be so popular. People actually want to see this picture. To those in search of it - is it because you want to laugh at it or because you think it's real that you have a desire to find it?

Also, to the person searching for "anima sex pics" - don't you hate it when you forget the "l"? What's great is that he did the bad search and still came in here. Not what you were looking for, eh, bub?

I went wacky on Ebay last week. Yes, right before the holidays I'm wasting money on myself in an unstoppable auctioning frenzy. I didn't do too bad and was able to stop before any real harm was done to my bank account. But not before making off with two how-to Adobe Photoshop books (because I really want to learn more about the program - I'm good with it, but I don't even scratch the surface of what it can do), "Mists of Avalon" by Marion Zimmer Bradley, a pocket guide to "Wine & Cheese" from England, "Way of the Wizard" by Deepak Chopra, and a huge, colorful coffee table book on wizards themselves, "Ways of the Wizards" (to go along with my huge, colorful "Lady Cottington's Pressed Fairy Book", or as my friend calls it "the smooshed fairy book"). Yes, interesting reading on my coffee table - fairies and wizards.

With that, I'm running late and have to be off. Think of me today and hope that I make it through this insanity somewhat sane. And just for the record, I hate moving.


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 3:53 AM
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Thursday, December 18, 2003

This "becoming an adult" thing just grows by leaps and bounds!

For Christmas, my parents offered to purchase us a dining room table set. I've never owned a dining room table, so I was very excited. The idea of having a table to sit down at it and eat (as opposed to TV-trays) or do bills (as opposed to ambling upstairs to my desk) is a nice one.

My Mom hunted down a few select choices at Pier 1, and finally dragged my lazy ass over to make the final selection. Baret and I both really love the wicker/bamboo-look, so I knew right away which were to be ours.

Mom, Dad and my sis, Amber, are going to see LOTR tonight, and afterwards are picking up our new dining room set, and two new barstools for our small bar - the Christmas gift from my grandfather. I'm all excited. Yes, you know you're growing up when you get excited about getting furniture for Christmas.

So, even though I've been lax and haven't ever posted pics of the new apartment (I WILL, I swear!), you can view my dining room set!

Check it out:
Mombo Dining Table & Chairs. Those barstools were too big for our small space, so we went with these instead: Mombasa. No, I don't understand the difference between "barstool" and "counterstool" either.

To thank them for this wonderful gift, and because they'll probably be starving after sitting through a 3+ hour movie and hauling furniture, I'll be cooking my special spaghetti for them (special b/c it's the only thing I cook) and Baret will buy some of their favorite beer.

The holidays have begun. Tonight my little brother is stopping by to sleep after picking his girlfriend up at the airport. She doesn't come in 'til 10pm and it's too far for them to drive all the way back home. She's spending the holidays with us, so that's very cool.

And, if you don't hear from me again for a few days, the reason is that we're about to MOVE at work. Anyone who has ever been involved in the move of an office to a new building can certainly understand the insanity that always ensues. When you're one of two people that has to hook everyone's PC's back up at the new building, that insanity goes up a few more notches. Fear not, though. No matter how crazy it gets, I have the knowledge that as soon as we're all settled I can kick back in my new office with a window...and a door! Oh yes, folks. I may not make as much as I'd like, but having an office all my own makes up for a lot of that!

So I'm off to start packing, to start planning supper for tonight, and to keep bringing up the Pier 1 page and showing everyone that walks by my new dining room set. Ok, not really, I just like to keep looking at it all by myself.

Have a wonderful one.


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 6:50 AM
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Tuesday, December 16, 2003

Omfg. As I did my best to ignore any and everything Saddam-captured-related that I could, the headline 'Saddam Captured' Figurines On Sale for Holidays caught my eye. How could it not? Move over 'Tickle Me Elmo'...there's a new toy in town.

"It didn't take long..." noted the article. No fucking shit - all of two days for some jackass to jump on the opportunist-bandwagon of mechandising that will become "the capture of Saddam Hussein". No doubt, by the end of the week, half of the nation will be wearing "Captured Saddam" t-shirts...wagging their fists at TV cameras to show us naysayers. "We told you," they'll chant - "America is good...evil has been brought to justice...Bush rules."

Flipping through channels last night, it truly amazed me that, even though I didn't linger more than two seconds on any given channel I still heard the same tripe over and over.... "This must be a big slap-in-the-face to all those that opposed the war."

Wtf? If one sane, non-military, Bush-supporting individual could please explain to me how the capturing of Saddam Hussein is supposed to suddenly make me support a war I was against from the start, I'm all ears. You...caught...Saddam... ...and?

I honestly wasn't going to bring this up again on my blog. Why beat a dead horse, right? But when all I hear on TV and online are asshats claiming this capture is the "WE WERE RIGHT!!" vindication for millions of idiots, I'm a little (justifiably) irrate. I'm still waiting to hear from someone, anyone that can, intelligently, explain to me just how this capture should change my mind. I'm quite eager to see a poll on how many people once-against-the-war have suddenly switched sides simply because a dirty, hairy Saddam was found in a hole.

Osama bin Laden - remember him - anyone listening??

Though, naturally, the only real news source I put any stock in, The Daily Show put it best:

"Americans can rest easy now knowing that the man that had nothing to do with September 11 has been captured."

Touche.


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 4:48 PM
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Sunday, December 14, 2003

Saddam Captured.

Whoopdy-fuckin'-doo. Anyone remember a man named Osama bin Laden? You know, the one that really poses a threat - the one that actually attacked us first??

Your focus on Hussein to cover up the fact that you cannot, and probably never will, find bin Laden does little to impress me. I remember who caused 9/11 and the horrible deaths of thousands of innocents. Catch him, and you'll hear me cheer.


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 5:02 AM
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Friday, December 12, 2003

As you well know, I feel it is my duty to point out the stupidity in this world to my faithful readers. This holds especially true when it comes to reviewing those god-awful friend-to-friend spam emails and the dolts that keep them flowing. Today I received a gem that just begs for exposure.


READ BELOW BEFORE VIEWING ATTACHED PICTURE:
The guy in the photo went to the Sundarbans with his friends and he asked 1 of his friends to take his picture in that very place. While his friend was taking the picture he screamed and fainted, 2 days later he died in the medical college. Doctors said he died because of heart attack. When the photos were exposed, in the last photo there was a lady standing right beside him
though friends claim that he was standing alone. Many people said it is a rumor and the picture is the result of the blessings of latest technology.

However, the photo itself is very scary and I'm sure you'll also feel the same way I've felt. Here you go with the photo!!!

A navy officer sent this letter to 13 people and he was promoted.

A business man received this letter and threw it away..not believing in it.. and he lost everything he had within 13 days.

It reached a labourer and he distributed it to 13 people.. he was promoted and all his problems were solved within 13 days.

So you must send this e mail to 13 people for something good to happen to you so people..get sending !!

P/S : Do not send back to the person who send this to you!!


Wow. This is one powerful email, eh? No doubt powered by the evil entity that appears in the photo with the hapless young man who lost his life. Didn't they make a movie about this?

You want to see the photo, don't you? Okay, okay - don't beg. You'll see why I have no reason but to believe it's authenticity for, as the email states, "many people believe...the picture is the result of the blessings of latest technology". Trust me, folks, if this is the latest technology in photo doctoring, technology sure isn't as advanced as I'd thought it was.

Without further adieu, the picture.

Now you are cursed for life - in 13 days you will be dead. Oh wait, that's that other movie. Creepy, isn't it?

Well, no, not really. Notice the blatant use of "13" in the email - no doubt used to further it's creepiness and prove "it's for real!". I mean, this is one potent email - the guy who ignored it lost everything he had!!

Give me a fucking break. It's nothing but another coy spam attempt at email farming. The more idiots that forward this to "13" people, the more email addresses they get. "Don't send this to the person who sent it to you!" Yeah, because they already have their email. No need to waste space with someone already on the spam list.

Why, oh why, am I pestered with these emails from these people?! True, there is the bonus of having blogger fodder - but, really, I could come up with something else to write. If I had my druthers, I'd never get another wretchedly asinine email. Yet as long as there are asshats that believe Mickey Mouse will dance across their screen if they forward and hit ALT+8, that they will automatically be forwarded a $2,345 gift certificate to Dillards for their compliance, that the American Cancer Society is going to donate $0.43 to some dying child with every forwarded email or that they will be cursed with losing their cat, premature baldness and a sexless life if they don't hit the Forward button, there will be horrible-spam-email-forwards.

And could some please tell me where in the hell the "Sundarbans" are??

Great - just as I was about to hit "Post & Publish", the wicked gods that like to provide me with people that make me want to bang my head against my cube blessed me once more. And I had to share.

Ah, the life of an i.t. tech. "Shanna, could you come over here? I'm trying to open my A&L - I think it's in Excel, but when I click on it, it just says "Unsupported Format".

This might be because said spreadsheet was attempting to be open in Corel: Word Perfect.

Now, you can have a wonderful Friday with the comfort that you're not that dumb. Have a good one.


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 6:45 AM
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Thursday, December 11, 2003

I'm back...again. This is the second time I've tried to post - to let everyone know that I was alive and well. Blogger up and deleted the first attempt. The darkness I last wrote about passed not long after my posting - but life has been too busy to update. Sorry about that. I miss posting, and I truly miss reading each and every one of my favorite blogs. Hopefully things will get a bit slower soon, and I'll be able to get back into my old routine. Thanks to all who commented concerns and sent emails wondering if I was still out there somewhere. It was much appreciated.

And just to show you how much better I'm feeling, it's time to bitch and gripe about the things in this world that tick me off. Yea!

Rosa Parks is a Dumb Bitch
Rosa Parks, of black rights fame, is suing the band Outkast for using her name as a title to one of their songs ("Rosa Parks" off of 1998's "Aquemini" album).

Even if I wasn't an Outkast fan (which I am), I would think this is ludicrous. To me, this is just another example of sue-crazy America. I'm not knocking Ms. Parks good deeds, or any of the major accomplishments she has made in this lifetime - for herself and others. She fights for equality for all - and I'm all about that. But to sue a band because they used your name as the title of their song?! Why?

Whether I was famous or not, I'd love it if someone used my name in a song. How can you sue someone for using your name? She's not some big company or huge movie, she's a person. A person who has the moniker she does because her parents slapped it on her at birth and added it to her father's surname. Big whoop. Hope nobody makes a song called "Joe Brown" or "John Smith". Here come the lawsuits.

Why should Rosa Parks get money because a song used her name? Is she that much of a commercial entity - that using anything involving her or her person deserves hard cash? The song isn't even about her. Wesley Wills wrote a song called "Alanis Morrisette" - no one sued him.

Are Medical Marijuana Activists Persecuted in the US?
After reading this article, I was moved to add my comments.

The part in particular that got me was:
" Kubby argued in his refugee hearing that his need for marijuana was the same as a diabetic who requires insulin to stay alive. He claimed his life would be threatened if he was returned to the United States and denied the drug.

Dauns ruled it appeared pot was helping Kubby cope with his cancer symptoms, but it was unclear if it was actually keeping him alive. She noted that he would have access to the drug under the California law he helped pass.

"He argues that a medical marijuana patient should be protected from persecution. What he has demonstrated is that in fact, they are," Dauns wrote in her nearly 60-page decision.

Dauns noted that the U.S. federal government has opposed state medical marijuana laws, but Kubby had failed to show the U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency had any special interest in prosecuting him. "


Firstly, it is entirely possible that Kubby's claims that marijuana are keeping him alive are valid. Dauns claims that "a medical marijuana patient should be protected from persecution" and goes to affirm that they are. If they were, though, how could Kubby - a cancer patient - be arrested and prosecuted for using "medical marijuana" in 2001 when a law was passed allowing such usage in 1996?

This brought to mind the story of Peter McWilliams. After learning how this man's life ended, I had a hard time believing that medical marijuana proponents weren't persecuted.

McWilliams was diagnosed with cancer and HIV in early 1996. Towards the end of his life, years later, the medicines he was on for his HIV made him violently ill - so ill that he was unable to keep the medicine down because he kept vomiting it back up. To cure this nausea, McWilliams smoked marijuana - which at the time was supposedly "legal for medicinal purposes" in the State of California. With smoking, McWilliams was able to keep down the medicine he needed to sustain his life.

However, Peter McWilliams was arrested on drug charges and put on probation - he was regularly and arbitrarily tested for the plant in his system. He was forced to leave alone the one drug he had found that could help him. McWilliams died not long after his sentencing - choking on his own vomit (the truth is harsh). To read his story, go here or here.

So to Paulah Dauns I say - do a bit more research. Medical marijuana activists are most certainly persecuted in the United States.

A good article on these issues, inspired by what happened to McWilliams, is here.

Laziness = Fat Ass
I'm sorry, but it is not the industry's responsibility to keep Americans slim and trim! In this article the Coca-Cola company believes it needs to do more to help curb the growing surge of obesity in the United States.

This is just insane. The reason we're overweight isn't because of the fast food, sugary sweets and syrupy cold drinks that abound in today's world. We're overweight because we're fucking lazy. If the industry wants to spew out crap and unhealthy edibles, so be it. No one forces us to imbibe - and it's no one's fault but our own that we don't get off our butts and exercise the excess off!

Hey, I'll admit, I'm talking about myself here, too. I'm the epitome of laziness and I could stand to shed a few pounds myself. My gripe here is the approach. Making "healthier" foods isn't going to solve the problem. Getting we slobs off our ass is.

If you can think of a way to do that, let me know. Meanwhile I'll be chilling on my couch, watching "Charmed" re-runs and downing a lite beer.

Have a good one, everyone.


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 7:43 AM
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Tuesday, December 02, 2003

I spent a good few minutes trying to find the correct word to describe how I felt for my website Imood updater. To give you a good idea before we start, I came up with irritated, malevolent, furious, and vexed (I finally settled on "vexed"). Not pretty words. Well, "vexed" is a pretty word, but I meant pretty in the sense of "not very nice", or negative. Yes, there is absolutely nothing positive in my attitude today. N o t h i n g. And I don't know why! That's the worst part. I've fallen head first into a black depression, a fetid apathy and a raging aggression with no prior warning. I just woke up one day all discombobulated! I'm fucking depressed!! And not depressed as in I'm having one of my blue moods that come and go sporadically with my not-officially-diagnosed-bi-polarism; it's not a passing dark spot or a PMS-induced funk. It's none of that. I live in a constant flux of extreme highs and severe lows; I'm actually used to the ups and downs of my emotional state. I've learned to live with them. But this - this is full-blown depression! I should know. It's the restlessness mixed with apathy, the lethargy and the bitterness. It's the feeling of being surrounded by a black blanket that no one can really penetrate. It's panic attacks and sick-to-my-stomach dread. It's wanting to do nothing but sleep and a complete disinterest in anything that previously held my attention. I can't even keep my attention on anything long enough to be productive! How in the hell did this happen? I've been living in a dark mental world since my teens; I know how my mind works. This kind of depression - not the fleeting, usual kind I always get in bursts - but this full-blown version of the real thing doesn't just "happen"! Something leads up to this - you can feel it coming. It's something that grows and builds, feeling bad for a period of time that just slides down into the shadowy echelon of actual depression. You don't just wake up one morning completely and utterly depressed. Especially when the days before you were completely happy and complete!! That's never happened; not like this.

It started yesterday. I was terribly depressed - forcing a smile was a huge effort. By time I got home, the constant putting-on-a-happy-face at work had gotten to me and I was feeling physically ill. I worried I might be catching the flu, because surely I couldn't be so suddenly depressed for no reason! I just wanted to go to bed. But I forced myself to sit up and watch my favorite evening shows. Though I didn't really want to; I didn't want to do anything. Baret sat with me, worried at my sudden sullen manner. He took my temperature and made me eat an orange. I began to feel a little better, having him sit with me and losing myself in Law & Order for a few hours. But by bedtime it had returned. I was sick to my stomach, fighting a mini-panic attack and feeling just awful. This morning was but another phase in my current condition. I woke up mad - fighting mad. I was snapping at Baret, and I have to do my best at work not to snap at my co-workers. I'm so irritated and tired and down it's ridiculous. I had wanted to stay home today and try to recoup my mind, but I forced myself to come in. There's no reason for me to be this messed up, and I can't give in to it.

The only thing that I can think of is that it's hormonal. I had gotten off of my birth control pills for almost a month - waiting for the gyno appointment, and then pussy-footing around about getting the 'scrip filled. You see, I don't have periods if I'm not on the pill. But I've done this before - stopped for a month or so for whatever reason and it's never had this kind of effect on me. I started taking them two weeks ago. No reason for me to turn into a psycho-hose beast now.

I've always prided myelf on being able to handle my mental instability alone - i.e., without meds or counseling. I was on anti-depressants for a few months, but I didn't like what they did to me. I was happy all the time - or rather, I just didn't give a fuck. That didn't feel right to me. I am a passionate person - that is who Shanna is. And I wanted to experience me - the good and the bad of my extremely passionate nature. The Zoloft only dulled my passion and made me a pastel version of myself. I couldn't jive with that. Though it isn't the right decision for everyone, I decided to learn to live with me the way I was - crazy and extreme. I've learned to ride the waves of my ever-changing psyche, enjoy the highs and fight through the lows. I think it's a beautiful trip. I know me and I know when I'm about to change, and how to deal with.

That's why this hit me so unawares. There was no prior warning, no reason for me to be so depressed. There was nothing; just the alarm going off Monday morning and my waking up wanting to be dead. Was I that upset over having to go back to work after such a long holiday? Could I hate my job that much and not even realize it? Maybe. Was it that I was so busy during the vacation that I never had time to actually "rest" or "relax"? Couldn't be - that's just life. Is it possible that I experienced something so wonderfully positive Saturday that it just spent every last drop of optimistic energy that I possessed? It's happened. Might it be that I experienced a few things this weekend that made me very angry and I kept them in rather than let them out? Such things have a way of finding an outlet regardless. Possibly it's just a conglomeration of all that.

I don't know the reason - it's going to take some time to sort out. But first, I've got to live through this awful, black funk. I can tell you now that just writing all of this out has made me feel a bit better - it always does. That's the first step.


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 7:42 AM
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Monday, December 01, 2003

It's time for another installment of "The World We Live In". So soon, you ask? Yes, damnit - I have absolutely nothing else to write about, and this shit is way more interesting than anything in MY life (thankfully!!).

You, sir, are the epitome of optimistic. I mean, hell, you only came to work sotted and with a loaded weapon - why won't they give you your job back?! The nerve!

Folks, these are the men running our country. These are the men we put in charge. What in the hell were we thinking??

And who says blood is thicker than money? Or a tank of gas...

And if something sounds nice, you may as well say it thrice! Or not - you flippin' idiot. If I knew him, I'd just start calling him "Stupid".

You should beware shopping these days. It's not that the woman got knocked down and trampled in the rush to get the $29 DVD player - it's that no one stopped to help her lest they miss out on nabbing one of the said DVD players. 'Cause you know, it's better to have a DVD player than to be nice.

I volunteer! Pick me! Pick me!!

Or maybe they should just stop eating so much junk food. Any bets on how long it is before this woman sees this photo and sues??

No, no, really, it's the height of fashion to have your tits surgically placed on your ass!

I have to ask - would we even be hearing a bit about this if the 400-lb man was white?

There you go, sweety, we're gonna put you on our shoulders to make sure you get a good view of grandpa shooting a rifle for sport. 'Cause you know, darling, guns are toys and are for play. But if you ever shoot up your school, we're going to blame it on Eminem.

And last, but not least, if I had crappy looking tats like this one, I'd want them removed, too. I get the message, you know. But not everyone regrets the decision to ink their body and pays through the ass to get them removed. Some of us think before making such big decisions.

But, this is "The World We Live In"...and "think" is most definitely the operative word!


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 12:05 PM
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