Strange as it may seem, this life is based on a true story." - Ashleigh Brilliant


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name: shanna
age: 28
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Wednesday, January 28, 2004

This is one of the dumbest fucking emails I've ever gotten. Perhaps what makes it even more aggravating was what the person wrote that sent it out:

"The reason I am forwarding this e-mail is that it contains some "basics" I feel everyone should be aware of."

When you read the email, you might understand why this makes me so ticked.

The (stupid) email:

Allah or Jesus?
By Rick Mathes

Last month I attended my annual training session that's required for maintaining my state prison security clearance. During the training session there was a presentation by three speakers representing the Roman Catholic, Protestant and Muslim faiths who explained their belief systems.

I was particularly interested in what the Islamic Imam had to say.

The Imam gave a great presentation of the basics of Islam, complete with a video. After the presentations, time was provided for questions and answers.

When it was my turn, I directed my question to the Imam and asked: "Please, correct me if I'm wrong, but I understand that most Imams and clerics of Islam have declared a jihad [Holy war] against the infidels of
the world. And, that by killing an infidel, which is a command to all Muslims, they are assured of a place in heaven. If that's the case, can you give me the definition of an infidel?"

There was no disagreement with my statements and without hesitation he replied, "Non-believers!"

I responded, "So, let me make sure I have this straight. All followers of Allah have been commanded to kill everyone who is not of your faith so they can go to Heaven. Is that correct?"

The expression on his face changed from one of authority and command to that of a little boy who had just gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He sheepishly replied, "Yes."

I then stated, "Well, sir, I have a real problem trying to imagine Pope John Paul commanding all Catholics to kill those of your faith or Pat Robertson or Dr. Stanley ordering Protestants to do the same in order to go to Heaven!"

The Imam was speechless.

I continued, "I also have problem with being your friend when you and your brother clerics are telling your followers to kill me. Let me ask you a question. Would you rather have your Allah who tells you to kill me in order to go to Heaven or my Jesus who tells me to love you because I am going to Heaven and wants you to be with me?"

You could have heard a pin drop as the Imam hung his head in shame.

Chuck Colson once told me something that has sustained me these 20 years of prison ministry.

He said to me, "Rick, remember that the truth will prevail."

And it will!


The truth will certainly prevail, Rick. And the truth is, I doubt seriously that you stood up at some religious convention and with your pearls of wisdom and bright-burning truth made someone suddenly hang their head in shame of a religion that they have not only been practicing all of their life, but that is also a religious leader of such religion. I'm surprised you didn't write into the story that you got a standing ovation.

And what kind of crap is this anyway - Jesus vs. Allah? I didn't know there was such a competition. What is this? Jesus 2, Allah 0?

And before we get all haughty over "killing non-believers",mister, realize that you're treading pretty damn close to hypocrisy here. It wasn't that long ago that Christians burned supposed witches at the stake, and put to death thousands that chose to worship other than their own belief system.

This email just pissed me off! What kind of an idiot do you think I am that 1.) I actually would believe such bilge truly took place and 2.) there is anything valuable or important or even basic that I must learn from this crap! All I see is another big-headed Jesus freak that is actually making a mockery of Christ and being the shining epitome of the hypocritical Christian. No, not all Christians are this way, and I hope that my Christian friends realize that I know this. But it is ones like these that threaten to burn down New Age bookshops, that propagate hate and judgement against others, and create websites with URL's like godhatesfags.com. And that, my friends, gets me mighty pissed off.

On a non-religious note, I have another i.t. pet peeve. I think I need to make a list of these "The Top Ten Things That Piss I.T. Tech's Off". Today I would like to add to the list the people that call me, or come to me, and say, simply, "My computer is broken." Stop - end of sentence. No explaining what the problem is, no telling me even what part of the computer is malfunctioning. It's as if they think I am some sort of pyschic pc-guru who can magically read their minds. I always have to prompt them with, "Okay. What's it doing?" Shouldn't this be the first thing they tell me anyway? Do you bring your car to the mechanic and say, "It's broken" and leave it there? Or do you give him some sort of explanation, "It's making this weird clicking noise everytime I change gears". Do you go to the doctor and say, "I'm broken"? Or do you give him a list of your symptoms so he can make a good diagnosis? Same thing with computers, people. I cannot touch the machine in front of me and suddenly know what ails it.

And I would just like to say that I feel oh-so sorry for all of those living up north right now. You couldn't pay me a million dollars to exist in such a climate. Not that it's exactly a picnic living in a state where it can go from 30 degrees to 70 degrees in one day (no, I'm not making that up), but there's no way I could live in a place where it's cold - freezing-ass, mind-numbing, teeth-chattering, even-my-damn-asshole-is-cold cold! Uh-uh, no thank you. So, to all those that do, you have my condolences (and warmest wishes).

Until later...



- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 7:26 AM
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