Strange as it may seem, this life is based on a true story." - Ashleigh Brilliant


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name: shanna
age: 28
sign: scorpio
live: louisiana
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The current mood of shanna at www.imood.com

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Pin-up girl by Rion Vernon; used with permission. Header design by the totally awesome Rose. The rest by moi.


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Monday, March 29, 2004

You know what I think about this? Don't want to click off, here:


Descendants of slaves filed a $1 billion lawsuit Monday against U.S. and British corporations, accusing them of profiting by committing genocide against their ancestors.

Lawyers for the eight plaintiffs said the complaint was the first slave reparations lawsuit to use DNA to link the plaintiffs to Africans who suffered atrocities during the slave trade.

The suit filed in federal court in Manhattan accuses Lloyd's of London, FleetBoston and R.J. Reynolds of "aiding and abetting the commission of genocide" by allegedly financing and insuring the ships that delivered slaves to tobacco plantations in the United States.

The defendants "have destroyed our national and ethnic identity," one of the plaintiffs, Deadria Farmer-Paellmann, said at a news conference announcing the suit.

DNA testing has made a "direct connection" between Farmer-Paellmann and the Mende tribe in Sierra Leone, whose people "were kidnapped, tortured and shipped in chains to the United States," the suit said.

Scientific evidence also has linked the other plaintiffs to tribes in Niger and Gambia, the suit said.

Ellen Matthews, a spokeswoman for R.J. Reynolds, said the company had not received a copy of the suit. Calls to the other defendants were not immediately returned.

In January, a federal judge in Chicago threw out a similar lawsuit brought by descendants of slaves.


So, what do I have to say?

Get the fuck over it.

I'm not saying that I condone slavery or that I'm happy about what happened. I think it was horrible and unjust and disgusting. Just as I think what was done to the Indians, to Jews, to supposed witches, and every other human being that has been persecuted by their fellow man for who they are is sickeningly barbaric and utterly ignorant.

Does that mean I think people should be able to get money for what long-since dead people did to their long-since dead ancestors?

Fuck no.

Let's look at this in another light. You mean to tell me that you are so devastated by what happened to people, blood relatives or not, that you never knew and probably know nothing about, you think you should get money for what they suffered - from people that had nothing to do with what the caused pain?

So, by your reckoning, since I am a witch, I should be able to go and sue the residents of Salem, Massachusetts for burning my forbearers? By your reasoning, since I am Cajun, I and my family should all be able to sue Canada for exiling my people in the 1750's - tearing apart families and sending many, in their quest for new homes, to their deaths?

No. Not no, but hell no. Are you fucking stupid? You are suing corporations that didn't even exist back then for having something to do with your fucking ancestors being slaves? I fail to make the connection.

You don't care about the rights of blacks - the horrible mark on humanity that was slavery or the thousands that suffered during that time because of it. All you greedy assholes care about is MONEY. If you really cared about what happened - then you'd do something to show it. Fight for black rights, stand up for what you believe in - suing someone doesn't make a statement for your cause; other than to show your cause is nothing more than making your greedy, lazy ass rich. Your cause is you. Fuck you for taking the pain and humiliation that so many suffered and trying to use it to further your bank account. Fuck you.

Almost everyone in America has ancestors that were persecuted. America was started by people escaping persecution; it is the melting pot it is today because so many peoples from so many lands have come here to escape that very thing. Who is to say one plight is worse than the next - that the horrors wrought on any of our ancestors were more than those around us? The fact is, it doesn't matter. You have no right to any compensation for what others have suffered. None. All of our ancestors, at one time or another, coming from more primitive and barbaric times, have suffered horrible atrocities. This is fact...and history. And it is nothing more than a tool to learn from, and a marker of how we have advanced.

Nobody owes you anything for what those people - your ancestors - suffered. Indeed, you make a mockery of their true suffering by this ignorant act you are committing. If they were alive today, I've no doubt they'd be ashamed. Ashamed that their own blood were slaves still to a different master; slaves to the almighty dollar.


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 5:09 PM
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Friday, March 26, 2004

So as you know, though I don't mention it much anymore, I'm slightly immobile these days. Well, I'm on a crutch (got down to one) - and have been for....well, fuck, it'll be two years this June. If you can't imagine what it's like living on crutches and having your leg frozen in one position for two years, let me try to explain it. It's an absolute miserable fucking hell. Though my arms are super buff - we must think positive, right?

It all began when I went to get my bum knee fixed (I was born without enough muscle around my kneecap to the keep the fucker in place - so it "floated" and liked to pop out of socket occasionally). The surgery, though three major procedures, was outpatient - I was told I'd be walking in "two weeks". Seriously, the did say two weeks - not two years. So I wasn't prepared for the horrorible downward spiral my life became after that surgery - and the two that followed to try and free up my serious scarring problem (I scar badly and inside it was so bad that everything just melded together - nice). I was also lax on my physical therapy - I won't lie - b/c I'm a wuss and it hurt like mother fucking hell. Agony - like breaking my leg every time I went in. I was miserable, thrown down into the deepest depression I have ever mucked through and was worse off than when I started to boot. It all - well it all fucking sucked.

The three surgeries didn't work and I all but gave up - I learned to live on one leg (and one crutch) though not enjoyably, I'll note. I really didn't know what to do. Last year I went in and he wanted to do another surgery - I just couldn't face another one then and told him I'd get back to him. Life took a nosedive last year and uprooted me (as you'll remember - the cat dying, the car being stolen, us moving - all in a few weeks) and I never got around to finding another doctor to give me a 2nd opinion. So when my temporary handicapped license plate tag rock-star parking tag expired, I went in to have him sign me up for another - b/c, well, I need it. He said at this point the only option was another surgery - hopefully one where they wouldn't have to cut, just knock me out, straighten that fucker, bend it, too and break the adhesions and then stick in a cast to force it to go straight again (it's frozen sort of bent - so that I walk on my toes). He claims another woman, more frozen than I after 7 surgeries, had this done and can now walk.

So I don't know how I feel about it. I'm dreading the fucking surgery - I'm not scared of it anymore, like in the beginning. Knock me out, sure, whatever. It's the pain and recovery that I dread. Getting put to sleep fucks with your head! After I had three surgeries in three months, it was six months before I could read a book again and understand what was going on. I was a scatterbrain - I couldn't remember *anything* or form full and coherent thoughts. It was over a year before I felt somewhat normal again - though I still feel I never fully recovered mentally.

The pain is another thing altogether. After my last manipulation (what this surgery is called), I woke up and started punching the wall and begging for painkillers. I was in pain - bad pain - and that was just after a few weeks of being frozen. Can you imagine what those muscles are going to feel like being ripped up like that after two years? Fuck yes, I'm scared of the pain. And then I have to push myself this time - have to get thru that pain and push with the p.t. I'm not looking forward to it.

I'm terrified of slipping back into that black depression. I'm afraid of hoping that this will be "the one" - the surgery that will "fix" me. I know I'll never walk normally again - I'm not naive enough to think I'll ever have fully, mobile legs. I've accepted this - I gotten out of that black fog. I know I'll likely walk again - possibly even with no limp (yay!) - but I'll probably never be able to bend fully. That's fine. So I can't squat - that'll really suck when I need to pee outside, but who cares? As long as I can fucking walk (and dance, I love to dance), then I'm not gonna be picky. So I don't know how to feel about this - do I go in with a fighting spirit - I'm going to do it this time and ignore all else? Do I have hope - or does that just set me up to topple back off into depression if this is just another dead-end? Do I just go into it with a "fuck it" attitude - if it works, awesome - if not, I go thru pain and hell but am still in the same place in the end so who cares?

I'm just confused - right now I'm trying not to deal with it - but May 28th isn't that far away. It'll be here before you know it. I'm ready, and at the same time, I'm not. I'm scared - fuck yes I am - but I'm also apathetic at this point. Part of me has given up, I've noticed.

I don't know what I'm even asking here. I'm just kind of...lost. I don't know what to think or how to feel.

I hope everyone has a great weekend - thanks for any thoughts.

Oh, and I almost forgot - go check out Rachel's kickass forum. She's trying to get some new people to join, so go on over and meet the rest of the crazies. It's a fun place - go there now - I, the cripple one, demand it.


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 12:50 PM
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Thursday, March 25, 2004

Interesting tidbits

Just a few cool and strange random things have been happening lately and I felt like sharing.

Stella's New 'Sneaks
With her new 15" wheels, Stella, my Miata, is lookin' mighty fine. Now, however, I have this strange phobia about curbs - whenever I pass near one I am silently panicking inside that I may brush up against one and scratch up my new rims. Curbs are the devil and I'm deathly afraid of them - I now try to avoid them at all costs.

The coolest thing, though, had to be the other day. I was driving out of a very small little community out in Prairieville this past Saturday. I was at a four-way stop, about to turn left. It was a gorgeous day and I had the top down. As I turned my head to the right to check for traffic I saw this young girl on a bicycle riding up down and the street. I'd say she was about 10 or 11, but who can tell how old kids today are? Her eyes lit up and she yelled out, "Wow, tight car!" I laughed, waved and yelled "Thank you!" As I drove off, I saw her in the rearview mirror waving at me. Tight car. That was just great.

Betty or Betty Sue?
I was in the waiting room of the doctor's office yesterday, happily reading the first Jamie book when a nurse opened the door. I heard her call out in a loud voice, "Betty Smith." No one answered. She called out again, even louder. Still nothing. The third time I, along with everyone else, glanced up and around the room. The nurse looked down at the chart in her hands and then tried again, "Betty Sue Smith?" Right then a woman sitting in a seat closest to the door the nurse was standing at jumped up, "That's me!" she sang out cheerfully and started grabbing her things. I couldn't figure out if she just didn't put two and two together and realize it might just be her the nurse was looking for, or she if she had some kind of hard-on about her name and refused to answer to anything else. The nurse looked at her like she wanted to throttle her.

You Waving at Me?
So I was trying to be nice again (will I ever learn my lesson?) and let a guy out. The light turned green, the parking lot he was leaving was right in front of me, so I politely paused to let him out. Dumbshit was on the phone, so subsequently driving with one hand, and he pulled out too far - swerving into the other lane. The vehicle there paused, not politely but out of necessity, and he waved at the guy. He gave the "thank-you-for-letting-me-out" wave to the guy he almost sideswiped, but he didn't give me a wave. He looked me right in the eye before pulling out, and knew I was letting him out - but he didn't thank me. He thanked the other guy for letting him be an asshole and swerve into his lane because he was talking rather than driving. I had half a mind to ram him from behind after that - but I figured he wasn't worth messing up my "tight car" over.

Money, Not Honey
I returned home yesterday and saw that I had a message on our new answering machine. Baret was standing right there, so I hit Play to hear this older black woman slurring into the phone, "Ya know ya there, so ya better pick up. It's not money - oh no - it's honey, baby. Ahhhh....fuck it." Or something along those lines.


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 7:11 AM
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Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Oh yay!!! Bacchus has arrived!!!!


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 3:25 PM
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After reading Rose's post about the guy that found her blog through the search query "I caught my wife letting my dog fuck her", I thought I'd pop into my various trackers and see how people are finding me these days.

Along with the various assortment and strange add-ons to the word "anima":
anima yahoo skin, how to get anima, free anima fucking, good anima, dirty anima, anima fairy pictures, anima boys cute, anima biggest dick, evil anima blogs, anima panties, anima toys, anima dating skins, anima monkeys, anima tv, sex anima, anima girlfriend, movie chicken anima, anima showing everything, resin anima, and, my favorite, coffee anima

was also this gem you see here below, which I think tops even the dog-fucking-wife:
my dad gave me a enema i was a bad girl

I really have no words except to ask, how did that bring them here??

And what in the hell are "anima panties" anyway? My guess is that this all more people who can't spell and are just leaving off "l" in animal. Right? I hope so. Then again, after re-reading a few of those, maybe I don't.

Another of note was "adam fluck cubs". What in the hell is that? Is it a person? It is a thing, a phrase, a toy, a newly discovered planet? Did they find it here? If you like that, then you'll enjoy this one that is a new favorite of mine as well: romp cooties.
"Let's have a good romp in the sack, dear."
"I don't know - can't you get 'romp cooties' from doing that, darling?"

Romp cooties? Wtf are romp cooties?

I also thought you'd like to know that I've invented a new short-hand curse phrase. Omfg is one of my favorite short-hand curse phrases in the world - but I will now add to the list smfdasob; pronounced smoof-da-sob. It's short for stupid, mother-fucking, dumbass son-of-a-bitch. So if you read here regularly, get used to it - you will see it again. Smfdasob.


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 1:01 PM
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Monday, March 22, 2004

Take a Sunday afternoon with nothing planned (I'd forgotten such things exist), one ready and willing person and one begrudging but willing person, two trips to Wal-Mart and $230 spent and what do you have? Shanna & Baret's new and improved patio area.

It's lovely! Thanks to everyone for the ideas. We went to Super Wal-Mart Saturday evening and I was just over-whelmed. So many plants - what did I want? Where would I put what? What in the hell was I doing here? We decided it'd be best to go home, have another look at the patio, lay out a rudimentary landscape-idea on paper and do some heavy Internet research on hardy yet pretty (i.e. attractive + not-easy-to-kill) plants.

Sunday I was much better prepared. Though we had to make two trips (you try fitting a large amount of plants, patio accessories & such in a Miata), and didn't even get to planting 'til after noon, it was worth the effort. There are three beds - one we're not doing anything much to just yet as a large tree is in that keeps it carpeted in a thick layer of leaves; it also doesn't get much sun. That's a later project. The two smaller beds, before we started, contained a bunch of Indian heather shrubs. Little shrubberies with small, pretty purple flowers on them. Since they were pretty, and needed to be thicked, we moved all of them to the corner bed and bordered it with white begonias (a flower that's super hardy and I've worked with before). The other bed has a beautiful rose climbing a trellis on the end next to the fence, is bordered with colorful petunias and has four bright snapdragon plants in the center. All very colorful.

We flanked the little goldfish pond-thingy with two little topiary-looking miniature rose bushes (called "Hot & Spicy") and a planter with white begonias behind. I planted white begonias around the small tree in the big, ugly planter and the stone candle and angels I have there. There are also two large potted impatiens and two beautiful hanging ivys that our neighbors threw away this morning! Baret took them out the trash and we hung them up; who throws away good, healthy plants? Only the 'bamas.

We also bought two new tiki torches - these are durable metal and in Oriental-style, so they match my yard perfectly.

Words don't do it justice, so I'll have to post some pics. We're not near done - we have big plans for the goldfish's living area. But that will have to be a summer project. I didn't intend to spend over $200 on fixing up the patio!

Today I'm all sore, cut up and sunburnt - but it feels wonderful. Every little thing I do that makes that place a little more "my home" just warms me up inside. I never thought I'd so enjoy being comfortable and settled. Even if we're only renting; I'm finding as I grow older that security is a nice thing. Just up 'til a few years ago I still made statements like "I hope I never settle down" or "I am undomesticatable and proud of it" or "I wouldn't even buy a house b/c I'd hate the idea that I may be stuck in one place for the rest of my life". But lately I find myself treasuring my little nook of the world and making it mine, and being rather content to stay there for awhile.

Tonight we're going to chill on the new patio (after jumping on Everquest real quick to save one of Baret's character's rotting corpses), have a bottle of red wine and barbq. Hope everyone has just as pleasant an evening.


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 1:08 PM
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Friday, March 19, 2004

So every now and again I like to jump in with some nice, sappy/happy crap to break up the monotony of....well, bitching. And I told myself I would let this morning's birdsong, oh-joy-of-spring, happy, happy, joy, joy post be the shot of positive joy into my bitchy darkness, and that I would not let myself post the oh-so-bitchy things that went on in my world today after the joyful awakening to birdsong.

But fuck that. It's this bitchy Scorpio's time of the month - which means it ain't no time to be bitin' my tongue.

"Wait," you're thinking, "is she gonna bitch about work again?"

Damn fuckin' right. You know what blows about being an i.t. tech - worse than being blamed for every single computer nuance that doesn't work correctly? Having dumb fucking asshats ask you questions they apparently believe they already know the answers to. Nothing quite tops the cake like that, my friends.

I should explain. I'm the moderator for a certain program in our agency that runs the gamut of what our agency does. It's a shitty program - I've told you about it before, the one IBM fucked us over on - that works as its supposed to about 45% of the time. So today I get a call from someone having problems with the system. He thought it was behaving oddly. I wasn't sure, so I called our main tech guy who maintains the program. He told me that the program was running fine, guy was just misinformed on how it *should* be running.

I called him back and explained - "It's doing just what it should be....[insert technical-sounding info]..."

Homeboy seems to think that *he* knows how the system works - way better than main tech guy who runs it & knows the very guts of it and *moi* moderator who has been dealing with said program for over three years. You don't need to know how the system works to understand how his response pissed me off beyond belief.

His answer was something along the lines of, "Well, Shanna, I think you need to do some more research. I know for a fact that when I do {this} that {this} happens."

I tried, calmly & professionally, to explain to him that, well, no, it doesn't do that.

Then bitchass-motherfucker got bitchy with me (which he WILL regret when I'm done), and said something along the lines of:

"Well, I *know* that it does {such & such}. I'm going to call you back on Monday and we're going to discuss this again - when you guys have your *heads clear* because I know this is how it works."

The heads-clear statement referring to the fact that I was extremely busy when he called and had indicated so to him.

Just before I talked to him, I had another person ask me about another supposed problem, who then proceeded to argue with me when I told him the answer - b/c he didn't think that was what the program did.

So, for the record, I would just like to say:
Listen, you goddamn fucking fucks, if you already *obviously* think you KNOW the answers - then why in the fucking hell are you bothering me with these assinine questions?!!

If you are going to call me with a computer/program question, and then argue with me about what you think the answer is - then why in the fuck are you calling me in the first place? Obviously you already have all of the answers. Far be it from me to disagree with you or point out the actual facts. I'm just the fucking computer person - what do I know anyway?

Can you imagine having a job where everyone calls you with their problems - yet when you try to solve them, they say, "Oh, no, that's wrong. It's *this* way." Then what in the hell did you need me for? Oh, and for the record, you're absolutely fucking wrong so don't come crying to me when shit *still* isn't working after you continue on with your genuis ideas on how-things-are-supposed-to-work.

Thank you all for letting me vent. It really upset me today when the asshats called me looking for solutions - then basically told me I was stupid & wrong b/c they didn't like the answers I gave (which were, by the way, correct). I plan to get them back on Monday by having an email sent to them, and their supervisors, from the highest-up (above me) techs explaining how things actually work - which is in direct opposition to how they claim to *know* they work. Fuck with me? I'll fuck you over in a second. Didn't you know I was a Scorpio?


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 7:22 PM
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I awoke this morning not to the annoying womp-womp-womp of my alarm, but to the sounds of birdsong outside my window.

My first thought was, "Oh gods, be quiet" as I was ripped from peaceful slumber. But as I began to awake more fully I realized just what I was hearing. I haven't heard birds chirping outside of my window in months. In fact, since we moved here just this past fall, I haven't heard it at all. I smiled, feeling very happy, because I knew that the cheerful and much varied chirps I was hearing were the first announcements of spring. Welcome Spring!

I was just thinking last nite that spring had snuck up on us. Looking at my almanac, I realized that the Spring Equinox, and therefore Ostara, were on Saturday. I hadn't seen it approaching!

(Also, for those that might be interested, I found out that Saturday is, without a doubt, the day of new beginnings! Not only is it the first day of spring, but it is also a New Moon - and on that springtime equinox & New Moon day the Sun and Moon will be moving into Aries, the first sign of the zodiac. I just thought that was all pretty damn neat.)

I wish I celebrated the Pagan holidays more faithfully. The truth of the matter is, I'm just lazy. The old, regular holidays are already planned out for me - okay, Christmas, put up a tree and buy gifts. Easter, dye some eggs and eat chocolate. There's no set rules for the Pagan holidays, which I like, but at the same time when you're the only one you know who wants to celebrate or even cares that it's a holiday, it's just not as fun. Everyone knows that holidays spent alone aren't near as special or inspiring. Still, that's a cop out. My ever-ready to party friends would be more than happy to come on over if I announced an Ostara party; we who also celebrate the Chinese New Year & Mexico's Day of the Dead with festivities. They'd even be interested to learn what it's all about; I have awesome friends. So, I'm just lazy. Every year at Samhain I promise myself, "I'm going to be better this year - I'm going to actually celebrate the Pagan holidays" (they have so much more meaning to me than the usual ones) and every year I don't. Maybe this new beginnings Ostara, though, is the time to start.

Anyway, about the birdsong. I read somewhere once (it might've been in Linda Goodman's "Star Signs") that birdsong actually encourages the plants to grow. That's why they are singing. Isn't that just a lovely thought?

I'm going to start gardening in my patio soon and need some suggestions. What's good for a novice gardener to try and grow? Something fairly easy to keep up with, low maintenance (b/c I'm lazy) but that looks nice. I plan to grow some food & herbs as well, so any such suggestions are welcome. This is the biggest garden area I've had to work with yet so I'm very excited. I'll keep you updated on my progress via pictures.

I'm out - it's Friday and I can wear jeans to work today. That makes everything alright with the world.


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 4:43 AM
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Thursday, March 18, 2004

Today I hated everyone. It was one of those days.

And I don't mean just one of those days where I was bitchy and PMSy and hating everyone. One of those days where everyone is stupid and deserving of my hate. The combination was deadly.

One guy kept emailing me stupid questions and suggestions - for no apparent reason other than that's all he does all the time to everyone. I wondered if he ever did any actual work, or did he just spend his day coming up with assinine things to send out to every one and their supervisor. And I hated him.

Then my supervisor came in and told me we were going to begin installing the new computer systems tomorrow. 72 computers divided by 2 people to install them. He figures it will take us until way into April to finish. Heh. I'm guessing June. And I hated him.

Someone came and told me her computer was connecting up to the network. Actually, that isn't what she said - I'm giving too much credit here. She said when she signed on [this] program and [that] program wouldn't work; those two being our email program and another one that only works when connected to the network. Wonder what the problem is?? So I wobbled over only to find that the network cable had come unplugged from the back of her computer. I perform nothing short of rocket science, folks. This is the same gal that complained to me that she'd been employed there for "weeks" and still hadn't been given a working printer - when the real problem was that she hadn't turned the printer she had ON. Also the same chick who called me over to get a stuck envelope out of her printer - when all she had to do was open the top, pull out the ink cartidge and the envelope was just sitting right there. And I hated her.

I then went into my boss' office to discuss this upcoming nightmare of installing computers and another employee came in. They began swapping stories of when they were younger and how awesome this city used to be - for over thirty minutes. And they're not just talking to each other, where I can quietly slip out the door, no. They're talking to me - 'cause I care, right? I had to sit there for 30 mins nodding and smiling politely while nothing but "run...murder...run...murder" is running through my mind. Oh, that and "please-for-the-love-of-fucking-god-shut-the-goddamn-motherfucking-hell-UP-!!!!" And I hated them.

But then I came home and saw that my new 15" wheels for Stella had been delivered and Baret said he'd put them on this evening. He asked if I'd sit outside with him, listen to the radio and drink some beer while he got all manly and mechanical for me. And I loved him.


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 3:48 PM
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Wednesday, March 17, 2004

How...well, depressing...that your main claim to fame, after your death, is being the "voice" of "The Exorcist."

"I did many great things with my life, but the only one that was really noteworthy was being the voice for "The Exorcist."

Couldn't they have given this poor gal a better death announcement-headline? Like "All The Kings Men Oscar Winner Dies at 87". Isn't winning an oscar more important than being the voice of "The Exorcist?" Maybe not. We do live in a warped-ass, backwards society.

Okay, so does this shit creep anyone else out a bit:
"NASA has developed a computer program that comes close to reading thoughts not yet spoken, by analyzing nerve commands to the throat. "

Just another advance in technology, and a good one, no doubt. But still. Knowing what I'm going to say before I say it - basically reading my mind. Kinda scary. I see how that could be used in a very bad way in the future.

So, Mango Boy has earned his own page off the Halls of Stupid. The saga has continued - check it out for a few laughs.

Not much else to say. Am PMSing and in more of a bitchy mood than normal (*gasp*) and if I start just may not stop! Have a nice evening.


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 7:20 PM
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Tuesday, March 16, 2004

I got to work this morning in a grumpy mood. I flicked on my monitor & sat to check my email - expecting hordes of complaints about the server crash yesterday and the tons of lost work. There were none. There was, however, this email from a company that deals with our agency:


Shanna,
I think the [agency name omitted]'s page is by far the most comprehensive and easy to navigate of any web page I have worked with...Congratulations.


Wow. Talk about just make your day. All I've gotten so far are mostly complaints about the site - not that there's anything wrong with it, but change is the nemesis of a state worker. It was different and that freaked them out. But to hear from an outside company that I succeeded in my goal of easier navigation and more user-friendly makes it all worthwhile. That he took the time out of his schedule to even send that is just so cool. I'm not trying to brag, just very happy & proud of myself that I created a website that helps the public.

On another note, I'd like to ask you all to please take a moment and step on over to the Halls of Stupid - as there are a few new dumbass jerks precious gems that have been added for your viewing pleasure. Please make sure you check out Rose's run-in with Mr. Mango - it's a long read but certainly worth it; I couldn't stop laughing.

One more thing. I'm a shameful Ebayer - I just can't stop. Last nite I dreamt that I went to some cool RPG-themed store and bought a bunch of dice. This took forever as we couldn't find the proper dice, and didn't until some kind raven-haired saleslady helped us.

I woke up this morning and started poking around online, as I usually do. I drifted over to Ebay, where I'd recently purchased a few D&D books (I'm trying to teach myself to DM) and, for whatever reason, bought dice. Yes I bought RPG dice on Ebay even though I haven't actually started a game yet. Because. I have no other reason. The dream made me do it.

They're really cool dice, though.


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 6:27 AM
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Monday, March 15, 2004

So what can they come up with next? Just when you think reality TV has spewed forth every possible pseudo-reality idea that could exist, they come up with another. Fuck American Idol - now we're goin' for American President.

What started with throwing a whole bunch of people on an island and watching their true colors shine through has grown into quite the monster. I mean, really, at some point they have to run out of ideas. Let's get this chick to pretend she's marrying this big, horrible slob of a guy and fool her whole family. Let's take this girl looking for love and throw her in a house with gay and straight guys and have her to try to guess which is which. Let's film Donald Trump trying to hire a new employee. Let's stick a bunch of has-been celebrities in a house and watch what unfolds. Let's take a bunch of people and see just how far they're willing to go for money. Let's stick the most outrageous group of obscure people we can conjure up in a house together! I mean, when will it end?

So we have this guy at work that has gone from irritating Christian-oriented-joke emailer to full-blown e-minister. While he still sends out the annoying-brimming-with-Christian-goodness-and-nonsense emails, he also sends out these "Daily Devotions". These things are numbered - such as "Day 12 of 24 - Jesus and You". They have parts of the Bible in them and then a little "sermon" underneath each. It's like having a daily e-church right here at the agency! And it sucks.

It's not as if I don't get enough non-work-related junk in my Inbox. From the 30+ virus emails we get daily now (the attachments are removed, thankfully, b/c every idiot in the office keeps trying to open them even after I've sent out two emails telling them not to), to the 10-20 daily please-forward-this-to-20-people-DON'T-DELETE-IT bullshit, I have enough shit I don't need in my Inbox. The last thing I want to add to the aggravating list of crap is religious solicitation.

This guy doesn't see anything wrong with what he's doing - most people on his list enjoy his daily preaching, and he truly feels he is only spreading the love of the Lord around. But, frankly, it's annoying - and I don't even see how it can be legal. Not everyone here is a devoted Christian. And even if I am the only Pagan, I know I'm not the only one who really has no interest in dealing with their faith at work or who doesn't care for Christianity anymore than they care for any religion.

And before I go I have to bitch about Jefferson Hwy. It's a fairly large highway here in Baton Rouge - one of the most traffic-congested come the evening rush hour. A four-lane monstrosity with a huge center turning lane. Sounds like, other than during rush hour, things should move along swimmingly on it.

Far from it.

The speed limit on Jefferson Hwy. is 45. Forty-five mph - so someone please tell me why the asshats I get behind every day feel the need to drive 40 & under? A lot of the time it's old people, and even more of the time it's people paying more attention to gabbing into the phone stuck to their ear than driving. But many times it's just a regular person tooting down the highway under the speed limit. I don't get it. And the thing is, it's such a rampant problem on this particular highway, that you can't move into the other lane and go around the non-driving shits because the people in the passing lane are doing 40 & under as well. For those of us that actually drive when we get in our cars, it's the biggest damn headache.

Happy Monday everyone.


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 6:27 AM
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Friday, March 12, 2004

I got the latest Pyramid Collection catalog in the mail yesterday. As always, the first thing I do is flip through quickly to make sure Bacchus is still for sale. I want Bacchus in my home - at least, I want the likeness of his face that is carved into this resin wall plaque. I just haven't been able to really afford him, or convince myself I "needed" him enough to dole out the extra cash. But I wanted him badly and when I want something, it's an ever-burning thought in my consciousness until I make it mine.

With dismay I realized he wasn't in the catalog this time around. Panicked, I told Baret - he knows how badly I've been wanting the Bacchus plaque to hang over our wine rack - and flew straight to the website. Thankfully, he was still there (type "Bacchus" in the Search box) and I ordered him right away before he was truly gone forever.

It got me thinking about the guest deities I have in my home. I wouldn't say that I'm dedicated fully to any one certain pantheon or set of deities, but rather, it seems, I simply surround myself with the ones that speak to me at the time. In this way each of them imbue my surroundings with the energy that they possess. So who is it that I have invited to share my home with? Buddha would be the most prominent of my guests - I have three lovely Buddha statues. Two fairly large, brown wood ones on my hearth and a lovely white marble one I purchased in New Orlean's French Market expressly for my first apartment. He now, in my new home, resides on the mantle. A new Buddha, a gift from a friend, has been added to the collection. I would not feel content without the beautiful Isis & Osiris looking down on me my from living room wall. The Hindu god Ganesh, another trinket from the French Market, sits on my desk to inspire me. My four-piece cross collection gives a nod to the prophet Jesus, whose peaceful teachings I am in accord with. Soon Bacchus, god of wine, will come to join us in our merry home and the next deity I intend to invite in is the peaceful and loving goddess Kwan Yin.

I truly have some of the most wonderful house guests! What energies to you invite into your home?


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 6:44 AM
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Thursday, March 11, 2004

I am so bad. I smoked a cigarette today. Holy fuck, someone stop me. It can only lead to ruin from here. What in the hell was I thinking? I s m o k e d a *gasp* cigarette!!!!! You know what, fanatical-smoking-haters, bite me. I enjoyed every single nicotine-dripping, tobacco-filled, deathly waft of smoke. You people make me sick.

Probably the best piece you'll ever seen on the lunacy of the anti-smokers is the South Park episode "Butt Out". This website gives a run-down of the entire show, but you really have to see it. The linked article summed it up best here:
Perhaps what they're trying to say isn't that they [The Tobacco Companies] are good, it's that the anti-smoking groups throw the concept of hating Tobacco companies too far. Deciding to smoke or not is still a matter of free will, and although the tobacco companies shouldn't be releasing a product that's naturally addictive and mostly deadly, we should stop trying to be such whiny assholes, yelling at anyone who smokes or anyone who's making money from a product. After all, if this is the case with Tobacco companies, what about stupid lawsuits against fast food companies that supposedly make children fat, or possibly against soda companies since their product essentially causes dehydration, bad teeth, and osteoporosis?

My favorite part of the episode is when the boys tell Rob Reiner that using his excessive amounts of money to push for changes that he believes are good, because he believes that everyone else in the world doesn't know any better, is, quite simply, fascism.

So why does the entire smoke-or-die thing piss me off so? Well, fuck, isn't it obvious? You're fucking with people's free will here. I seriously don't believe there is a person out there that has watched one of those retarded "TRUTH" commercials, slapped themselves upside the head and went, "Gosh darn, I never knew. I'm going to stop smoking today!" Everyone who smokes (barring the fucking retards that smoked for 40 years then sued the tobacco companies b/c they lost a lung) knows the dangers of smoking. We can read the Surgeon General's Warning and we'd have to be living under a rock not to have heard that it's the #1 preventable killer and completely and utterly bad all around for you. I know this, everyone else that smokes knows this. So why do we continue to smoke?

Because we want to! And that's nobody's business but ours and our blackened lungs begging for air. Get it? The kicker? I'm not even addicted to smoking. I smoke, maybe, twice every two weeks now. Yes, that's all. I rarely smoke in public and I've even giving up smoking in my car. Since I'm too lazy to hobble outside every time I want to light up, I just don't do it unless I really feel like it. I like to smoke. *Gasp* It may be an extremely unpopular thing to voice these days, but, there, I said it. I'm not one of those people who smokes and wishes they could stop. I'm not one of those people who has tried quitting and just can't. I'm not one of those people who used to smoke heavily and now hates cigarettes and smokers with a passion. I used to smoke a lot; now I don't. Will I ever completely quit? I doubt it. People, I like smoking - and that's my personal choice. And no one has the right to demand I stop or throw it in my face because of my personal choice.

I spent some time, a few years ago, in the Yahoo! message board's anti-smoking discussions. What a bunch of fucking wackjobs! These people were insane about smoking. Some even going so far as to say parents who smoked (even ones that went outside to do it) were horrible parents and their kids should be taken away from them. That people who smoked in public places were no better than murderers. Murderers. That should give you an idea of just how fucking insane and fanatical these people are - and why I'm so damn adamant about speaking out against them.

Fuck the haters. Next time I light up, I'll inhale a good, long one for you all.


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 9:15 AM
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Tuesday, March 09, 2004

Three posts in one day? Something must've pissed me off.

You're damn right.

Last post was just a quick blurb to make a stab at the over-zealous and "slightly" fanatical "TRUTH" people. But the article I just read on Yahoo! takes the fucking cake.

What the article says is that some groups are pushing for any movie featuring a person smoking (a cigarette) to be rated R. I often wondered just how far these rabid-smoking-haters would take their fanaticism, but this is just fucking stupid.

A friend, when I showed him the article, said, "Well, it's good in principle."

How? He said that kids see it in movies and think it's cool.

But I disagree. Seeing someone light up in a movie, with no other attention drawn to it, is no different than seeing Aunt Maude or Dad lighting up at home. Kids aren't as dumb as our society tends to think they are. Make a big deal out of people smoking in movies - and then it's glamorous. A sure-fire way to get kids to think something is "cool" is tell them it's taboo.

Please tell me this is not going to go into affect! Please tell me that SOMEONE with some sense is out there and will read this proposition and say, "That's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard of. Hell no."

Smoking is SO BAD that if you do it in a movie, it will be rated R. Smoking is all that's wrong with the world. Smoking is the reason that children cry, that plants die and the world is coming to an end. Smoking IS the greatest evil.



- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 6:00 PM
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Americans Eating Themsevles To Death.

Excerpt:
In 2000, poor diet including obesity and physical inactivity caused 400,000 U.S. deaths - more than 16 percent of all deaths and the No. 2 killer. That compares with 435,000 for tobacco, or 18 percent, as the top underlying killer.

The gap between the two is substantially narrower than in 1990, when poor diet and inactivity caused 300,000 deaths, 14 percent, compared with 400,000 for tobacco, or 19 percent, says a report from the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention


So does that mean we soon to get see a barrage of stupid and grossly exaggerated "TRUTH" commercials about the "evil" food industry, too?


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 2:22 PM
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Ever heard of Googlewhack? I hadn't myself until a few weeks ago. It's basically typing in two obscure dictionary-accepted words into the Google search engine and having it come back with only one result. Which isn't as easy as it sounds - but not quite as hard either. I was able to come up with three successful Googlewhacks myself, and keep meaning to post them on here but I keep forgetting. Of course, now that I'm posting and thinking about it all at the same time, I don't have my list with me. Blech.

I did, as I said I would, write an email to the mayor of Los Angeles expressing my disapproval of the Cuervo proposition. I could not find an email address to send anything to the tequila people, or they'd of gotten it from me as well.

I believe I did a bit of emotional growing up this weekend past, and I have to say, it felt good. On Saturday I had a visit with my soulmate and we ended up arguing over something petty. Both of us were too prideful to be the first to apologize and end the entire stupid thing, and our visit ended with us both being terribly upset over ruining our time together.

So on Sunday when Baret and I were leaving his parent's house after a nice visit, I did something silly. When I'm drunk, I like to yell out the car window at people. Just a silly "Whoo-hoo!" or "Lookin' sexy!" - something I've done when riding with my friends just to make them laugh. Except I usually do this in Baton Rouge, a slightly large city, where anonymity is assured. You don't do these things in a small town where everyone knows everyone, and you're down the road your boyfriend's parents live on. There was this young girl, she couldn't have been more than 13 or 14, walking with her boyfriend. Except this girl had on shorts that made daisy dukes look like a nun's robe. They looked, to me, more like panties; they were skin-tight and her ass was even hanging out of them. It bothers me to see young girls dressing like this. I was drunk, and not thinking, so I yelled out the window as we passed, "Put some clothes on."

Okay, it was not cool of me. I know that - but whatever. As soon as I did it Baret yelled at me, "Shanna!" It was his tone that got me - a disapproving, what-in-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you type of yell. I immediately felt bad. I hate being fussed at and I immediately felt guilty for yelling at that kid. It's not her fault her parents let her walk down the street like a 'ho, right? And what if she knew who we were, and went back and told her family who told his family what I'd done. Not cool. I don't care what people think of me - but I didn't want people thinking Baret, for his sake, was dating some kind of evil bitch (even if it is true). I clammed up and Baret could tell I was fuming. He tried to talk to me a bit but I completely ignored him - I was in a rage.

The thing was, I wasn't mad at him; I was mad at me. I don't deal with guilt very well - a point made obvious when you look at the scars on my arms from my past self-mutilation. I hold myself, I guess, to a high standard or something - whatever it is - I can't stand to feel bad or guilty about something. It eats at me terribly, and no one could be harder on me than I am on myself. After almost an hour of silent driving, I muted the radio and said, "I have to say something."

I could see the look in his eyes, "Oh god - here it goes." He thought I was going to light into him about calling me out. Instead, I said, with a shaky voice, "I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at me and I'm sorry. I just don't deal well with being fussed at and feeling guilty." He was so happy that I'd admitted that and said he really thought I was angry with him. He said that I do get very defensive when I feel guilty and he wanted to help me work on that. We then had a great talk about our relationship and how we both deal with anger. He admitted that when I poke and prod at him to keep talking about an issue, rather than let it drop, he hates it - but that he had to admit it had made him better able to accept when he was wrong and, also, to think about what he was doing and why.

I felt good about the whole weekend - I met up with one of my oldest demons and faced it. I believe I even began to conquer it and that's an amazing feeling.


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 11:42 AM
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Sunday, March 07, 2004

They'd better fucking not!

The city of Los Angeles is "mulling over" a proposal by the company of Jose Cuervo to add the words "CUERVO NATION" underneath the Hollywood sign!

What in the hell is wrong with the L.A. city officials that they are even entertaining the thought of defacing such an important and beloved landmark? It can't be that they are hurting for money - as Jose Cuervo is offering to fuck up Hollywood's infamous sign for the measly sum of $1 million. One million dollars? To ruin something as enduring and grand as the Hollywood sign?

I just don't get it. Firstly, there has to be better advertising ploys for the Cuervo folks to piddle around with. Seeing "CUERVO NATION" stuck up under the Hollywood sign isn't going to make me want to drink tequila. In fact, if such an atrocity were to happen, I plan to ban the drinking of Cuervo products altogether in protest. I want nothing to do with a company that thinks itself important enough to be destroying national landmarks.

I'm not saying the Hollywood sign is the greatest landmark of all time - but I remember the awe and reverence with which I viewed it when I first went to California. Seeing such advertising stupidity stuck up under it would have ruined that for me completely. It's part of history, it's part of L.A., it should be left alone. And there are other reasons that this is entire thing is a BAD idea.

And if this does go through - what does that mean for the future of advertising, and our beloved landmarks? Can't you just see a gigantic "JUST DO IT" sign being stuck at Lady Liberty's feet? McDonald's "I'm Lovin' It" carved into the rock above our forefather's heads on Mt. Rushmore? Hooters' could stick a "Delightfully Tacky Yet Unrefined" sign right next to the Lincoln Memorial. Or maybe even Quizno's "They've Got a Pepper Bar" on a giant banner strung across the front of the Alamo?

And it isn't the same as New York allowing Snapple to become the "official beverage of NY". They stuck vending machines in schools, they didn't deface any of New York's cutural landmarks.

Are historic preservationists going to let something like this happen?

Yes, I'm pretty pissed off about it - pissed off enough that I'm going right now to email letters to Jose Cuervo and the city of Lost Angels. I honestly in my heart don't believe this will happen - but I won't stand by silently and just hope for the best. It may seem like no big deal - like a small thing - but once one entity makes it okay to deface a national landmark or cultural attraction, every slimy advertising agency in the world is going to be on that idea like a pack of dogs on a three-legged cat.


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 4:17 AM
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Friday, March 05, 2004

Over the intercom system at work this morning, the following wafted through:
"They are testing the fire alarm systems this morning. So, if you hear anything strange, do not be alarmed."

Don't be alarmed, people, it's just the alarm. This morning has started off terribly and is one of the days that gives credence to my belief that the world would be a helluva lot better place if there weren't people in it. Days like today make me hate people, and I'm not afraid to admit it.

Days like yesterday don't help either. I attended the funeral of a close family friend - a woman that was as much family as one can be without the same blood flowing through your veins. She and her brother, who passed away a few years ago, were friends of my grandparents (whom they lived across the street from) and thought of my mother and uncle as their own children, and myself and my siblings as their own grandchildren. Mrs. Elsie was a feisty, spirited woman who used to fire a cap gun in the air to call her little, black poodle, Coco, home when we were kids. She never bit her tongue and was delightfully caustic. Knowing her, and her brother, was truly a gift in this lifetime. Yesterday we buried her. What left me with a bad taste in my mouth over my fellow beings was Mrs. Elsie's blood relatives.

Never having children of her own, Mrs. Elsie's only family were a few nieces. Or as I like to refer to them, a few greedy bitches. I believe they loved Mrs. Elsie in their way - I'm not saying that they didn't. But not long before she died, and when she was sick, she told my grandfather how they were going through her things and asking where this or that item was (jewelry). As my Mom was talking to them in the hospital the day before her death, trying to discuss whether or not they were going to allow the doctors to use "heroic efforts" to revive her if she began to die, the greedy bitches only wanted to talk about all of her things that they wanted to "go through". As soon as the funeral was over and as they were lowering her casket into the ground, one of them was already in her car speeding off to the nursing home Mrs. Elsie had lived at - to go through her things!

I don't think these are bad people. I just think they're greedy - maybe not even realizing how greedy they truly are. A lot of people are greedy in this day and age, but it's still a harsh thing to see it in the light that I witnessed it yesterday. Mrs. Elsie gave us, her true family (even she called us that) all we ever needed or wanted from her - unconditional love.

So I wasn't real up on liking people after that. I come into work this morning and it gets worse. There is a virus going through the email system - even though our agency's program is taking the virus from the emails, the emails still arrive. People are freaking out because the emails look somewhat legit. So I send out an email explaining it's a virus and to just delete it - simple enough, right? Then I get a barrage of calls and emails - "I already tried to open it!", "But it says it's from blah-blah-blah", "I just got this email and think it's a virus - what should I do?" (the exact email I just told them about - they never even read the email I sent). So I sent another agency-wide email re-explaining and simplifying as much as possible. It's really not that complicated, people. If it's a strange email with a strange attachment, delete it.

And the new website - omfg - they are driving me fucking insane!! A few years ago, before I worked here, the fucking fucks at IBM gave us a really crappy program (and charged us out the ass for it) that only runs on Netscape; let me clarify - only runs on Netscape 4.75. We cannot upgrade Netscape without losing the ability to function in this program (which runs the bulk of the agency's operations when it's working properly). The new website I built has a few problems with this old version of Netscape but works fine in the newer versions and in all versions of Internet Explorer.

Now I know this is not good webmaster policy here. I know my website should work in all browsers - regardless of version. Believe me, I'm doing everything I can to remedy the problem - even going so far as to rewrite most of the pages in plain, old HTML script from scratch and trying to teach myself some script that will redirect people to the correct page depending on their browser & version. I'm working on it, believe me. In the interim, however, I've told people here to simply use Internet Explorer to view the site as our old, funky version of Netscape isn't currently compatible.

You'd think I'd ask them to switch from caffeinated coffee to decaf. You'd think I'd asked them to stop doing every part of their daily routines one way and do them a completely new way. You would almost believe I asked them to offer me their first born sons cooking over a fiery spit as sacrifice for a fully-functioning-in-all-browsers website.

"But I have this shortcut on my Desktop!!! It goes to the website in Netscape!" Yes, set up a new shortcut from IE - it doesn't take a rocket scientist - I'll even walk you through it.

"But I always view it in Netscape - the old site worked in Netscape." Yes, but this isn't the old site and times change. Grow up and get over it.

"I had no problems with the old site." Perhaps you didn't, but the rest of the using world did since it was damn-near impossible to navigate or understand and had fonts the size of termites.

The site is better than it was, and I don't mean because I'm some ace and master web designer, but simply because I took pains to make navigation easier and everything uniform and easily readable. I made it user-friendly is all. And I would just appreciate a a little fucking patience while I tweak it and fix it to make it run as perfectly as possible. I'm TRYING - really I am. In the interim, can you just view the goddamn thing on IE??! Really, if you'd just do that, I'll even drop the first born sons request. The younger ones are much more tender anyway.

Have a good weekend, you guys.


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 7:45 AM
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Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Sorry I've been slacking on the posts - not posting nearly as much and not offering anything of much quality when I do. Work has been stressful & thoroughly taxing, but I am enjoying it.

I finally completed the webpage about that evil woman on Ebay who fucked me over. Please do check it out. I'm going to leave it open for any other bad run-ins that I might have - though I hope I never have to deal with something like this again. I've also contacted others that have had bad transactions with this woman (who left her negative feedback) and got their stories - which I hope to be adding soon. These people had really been screwed over as well. It is my hope that Ebay really does investigate what happened, and her past conduct, and bans her from ever selling or buying on Ebay again.

I mean, essentially this woman stole my money. Not literally - I did send it to her. But she then took it as if it was owed to her and refused to refund or send me any sort of item or compensation. Then she accused me of being "impossible to work with" and of threatening her when all I was doing was trying to get resolution for what she'd done to me. What kind of person must you be to do something like that? And the fact remains that she essentially ignored nearly every email I sent her until I informed her I was about to report her to Ebay and the FTC - which I have done as promised. As I said on the page, the thing that bothers me more than anything - even being out the $14 - is that she marred my perfect feedback record on Ebay. I sent her the money promptly, did everything I was supposed to do, yet she left me negative feedback. I think that's unwarranted and totally unfair.

In other news, I have new neighbors. They're from Alabama, according to their license plates, and we call them the 'bamas. I've never met them, but they introduced themselves to Baret when they moved in - seemed a nice, young couple. Except they can't park. Our parking areas are set up as a corner, and when Mrs. 'Bama parks her big, fat Buick Lesabre twenty feet from the front of her fence and leaves her car's big ass poking out from their garage, I can barely back out. In fact, if I was not in a Miata, I could not get out. As it is I have to turn my wheel and maneuver myself out of the carport without hitting her big-assed car or Baret's Miata sitting next to mine. It's really starting to piss me off. Why can't she pull her car all the way up under the carport? She leaves enough room where you could have a damn party in between the fence and her stupid Buick. And it's not like she can't see, obviously, that her ass-end is sitting exactly in my path of backing! Some people are completely inconsiderate; though she may just be really stupid.

I've got to get to the grind, but I wanted to leave you with one of the best articles I've seen yet on the whole Passion of The Christ hoopla. I couldn't agree more.

Have a good one.


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 7:09 AM
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Tuesday, March 02, 2004

Sometimes I hate my office. I get to my desk late this morning because I was in talks with my supervisor all morning about a huge upcoming project (he and being the only two people to install the company's 70+ new computer systems in the coming days). I finally make it to my office and go to check the massive amount of email that has accumulated in my absence yesterday and this morning. One of the last emails is a memo telling everyone that they will be waxing the floors in the break room this morning.

Waxing the floors - before lunch - in the only room with a fridge and a microwave. The memo stated you should "get anything you need out of the refridgerator because it will not be ready by lunch". What's the point of getting my food out of the fridge when I still won't be able to microwave it?? Since I got the email too late, I can't go and save my food as the floors have already begun to be waxed. It pissed me off, coming on top of the already amazing amount of stress that was heaped on me this morning. I work best under pressure, I'm not complaining about all the work, but I need to eat to deal with it!

Anyway. I've got way too much work to do to be here blogging, but I needed to vent. I'll leave you with this great email sent to me by a co-worker and fellow i.t. tech. It may not be as funny to the rest of the pc-using world, but I laughed and nodded my head in agreement through the whole damn thing.

To: Computer Users
From: Tech Support and/or Programming
Subject: Words to live by

1. Don't write anything down..... EVER. We can play back the messages from here.

2. When an I. T. person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. It's nothing for us to remember 3000 user ID's and passwords.

3. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and Popsicle art. We don't have a life and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.

4. When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping you from
getting it. We don't need to know that you can't get to your e-mail because your computer won't power on at all.

5. Don't put your phone number/extension in your e-mails to the help desk. We need to keep an eye on the address book performance.

6. When I. T. support sends you an e-mail with high importance, delete it at once.
We're just testing the public groups.

7. When an I. T. person is eating lunch in his cubicle, walk right in and spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.

8. When an I. T. person is having a smoke outside, ask him a computer question.
The only reason we smoke at all is to ferret out those users who don't have e-mail or a telephone line.

9. Send urgent e-mails all in upper case. The mail server picks up on that and flags it as a rush delivery.

10. When you call an I. T. person's direct line, press 5 to skip the bilingual greeting that says he's out of town for a week, record your message, and wait exactly 24 hours before you send an e-mail straight to the director because no one returned your call. You're entitled to common courtesy.

11. When the photocopier doesn't work call Tech Support. It's got electronics in it.

12. When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home, call Tech Support.
We can fix your line from here.

13. When you have a dozen CGA monitors to get rid of, call Tech Support.
We're collectors.

14. When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an I. T. person's desk with no name, no phone number and no description of the problem. We love a puzzle.

15. If you hate your mouse, get some other pointing device and discard the manual. We know all the keyboard accelerators / short-cuts.

16. When an I. T. person tells you that computer monitors don't have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.

17. When you get a message about insufficient disk space, delete everything in the Windows/WINNT directory. It's nothing but trouble anyway.

18. When you get a message about a hard disk controller failure, but everything seems fine after you reboot, don't call I. T. Support. We'd much rather troubleshoot the problem when it's dead as a doornail.

19. When you have an I. T. person on the phone walking you through changing a setting, read the paper. We don't actually mean for you to do anything; we just love to hear ourselves talk.

20. When an I. T. person tells you that he'll be there shortly, replying a scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?". That'll get us going!


- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 8:09 AM
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