Strange as it may seem, this life is based on a true story." - Ashleigh Brilliant
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Tuesday, March 02, 2004
Sometimes I hate my office. I get to my desk late this morning because I was in talks with my supervisor all morning about a huge upcoming project (he and being the only two people to install the company's 70+ new computer systems in the coming days). I finally make it to my office and go to check the massive amount of email that has accumulated in my absence yesterday and this morning. One of the last emails is a memo telling everyone that they will be waxing the floors in the break room this morning.
Waxing the floors - before lunch - in the only room with a fridge and a microwave. The memo stated you should "get anything you need out of the refridgerator because it will not be ready by lunch". What's the point of getting my food out of the fridge when I still won't be able to microwave it?? Since I got the email too late, I can't go and save my food as the floors have already begun to be waxed. It pissed me off, coming on top of the already amazing amount of stress that was heaped on me this morning. I work best under pressure, I'm not complaining about all the work, but I need to eat to deal with it!
Anyway. I've got way too much work to do to be here blogging, but I needed to vent. I'll leave you with this great email sent to me by a co-worker and fellow i.t. tech. It may not be as funny to the rest of the pc-using world, but I laughed and nodded my head in agreement through the whole damn thing.
To: Computer Users
From: Tech Support and/or Programming
Subject: Words to live by
1. Don't write anything down..... EVER. We can play back the messages from here.
2. When an I. T. person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. It's nothing for us to remember 3000 user ID's and passwords.
3. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and Popsicle art. We don't have a life and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.
4. When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping you from
getting it. We don't need to know that you can't get to your e-mail because your computer won't power on at all.
5. Don't put your phone number/extension in your e-mails to the help desk. We need to keep an eye on the address book performance.
6. When I. T. support sends you an e-mail with high importance, delete it at once.
We're just testing the public groups.
7. When an I. T. person is eating lunch in his cubicle, walk right in and spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.
8. When an I. T. person is having a smoke outside, ask him a computer question.
The only reason we smoke at all is to ferret out those users who don't have e-mail or a telephone line.
9. Send urgent e-mails all in upper case. The mail server picks up on that and flags it as a rush delivery.
10. When you call an I. T. person's direct line, press 5 to skip the bilingual greeting that says he's out of town for a week, record your message, and wait exactly 24 hours before you send an e-mail straight to the director because no one returned your call. You're entitled to common courtesy.
11. When the photocopier doesn't work call Tech Support. It's got electronics in it.
12. When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home, call Tech Support.
We can fix your line from here.
13. When you have a dozen CGA monitors to get rid of, call Tech Support.
14. When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an I. T. person's desk with no name, no phone number and no description of the problem. We love a puzzle.
15. If you hate your mouse, get some other pointing device and discard the manual. We know all the keyboard accelerators / short-cuts.
16. When an I. T. person tells you that computer monitors don't have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.
17. When you get a message about insufficient disk space, delete everything in the Windows/WINNT directory. It's nothing but trouble anyway.
18. When you get a message about a hard disk controller failure, but everything seems fine after you reboot, don't call I. T. Support. We'd much rather troubleshoot the problem when it's dead as a doornail.
19. When you have an I. T. person on the phone walking you through changing a setting, read the paper. We don't actually mean for you to do anything; we just love to hear ourselves talk.
20. When an I. T. person tells you that he'll be there shortly, replying a scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?". That'll get us going!