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June 2003 July 2003 August 2003 September 2003 October 2003 November 2003 December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
Only those of you here in the South are truly going to understand this rant.
Cover the children's ears, Pa - Ma's about to do a bit of cussin'.
I hate - no, let's reiterate that to be more precise - I absolutely loathe with vehement abhorrence and absolute, utter disgust the fast food restaurant known as Popeye's Chicken.
It isn't because their chicken isn't any good - far from it. The chicken is usually tasty and the biscuits are to-die-for. The food isn't the problem. It's the friggin' pitiful excuse for service. Service isn't even the right word to use - let's just call it 'apathetic non-service'.
I can't even imagine what kind of skills you need to possess to be hired at a Popeye's. A 3rd grade education level, the ability to make sour faces at the customers that say "I-just-spit-in-your-food-honkey", an absolutely perfect track record of fucking up every order you've ever taken?
I'm not just idly bitching here because the fucking retards at the Popeye's I just drove through about 30 mins ago gave us "spicy" chicken when we specifically asked for "mild". No, in fact, that happens EVERY TIME at EVERY MOTHERFUCKING POPEYE'S I go to. Whether it be near home or across town, Baton Rouge or Lafayette - just say the opposite of what you really want and you should be fine. The reason this rant has come to pass is that this is the last shitty-service-straw - the proverbial I-can't-believe-this-place that has broken this crippled camel's back.
You see, I've never - NEVER EVER EVER EVER - have had good service at a Popeye's. And not only have I never had good service, the service has always been absolutely fucking intolerable and unacceptable. I go back why, you ask? Simply because sometimes, when I'm desperate for my fast-food-greasy-chicken-fix about once every 2 months, the only thing close by is ever a Popeye's. But never again.
There was the time we went through the drive-thru at about 6pm. A pretty peak time, nearing supper, so imagine our surprise when they said, "You'll have to wait - we don't have any chicken made." Um, what? All you make is chicken - how can you not have any chicken made? But okay, we wait. We wait so damn long that the people waiting in front of us in their car eventually just sped off - and they'd already paid for their food. I mean, how long does it take to fry chicken? I'm not shitting you when I say we sat there for 20+ minutes. Sad thing is, it's happened more than once at numerous Popeye's; "oh we don't have any chicken made". What the fuck are you making back there? Corndogs??
I have never seen them put out food in a timely manner (the restaurant near my office usually has a line going out into the street during lunch), I have never gotten so much as a smile from anyone working there, and I have never had an entire order be correct. I sincerely believe they screen all possible employees to make sure they are completely lazy, rude fucking morons before hiring them.
I am forever boycotting Popeye's as of tonight. I'm writing their headquarters and letting them know that everyone one of their gotdamn restaurants sucks big fucking donkey dick (not in those words, of course). Mr. Copeland needs to get his shit together. This'll be better than the long, bitchin' rant I sent to the Burger King headquarters years ago. Of course it won't change anything - but I'll feel better.