Strange as it may seem, this life is based on a true story." - Ashleigh Brilliant
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True blue Scorpio
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Friday, October 29, 2004
In honor of my most favorite of the holidays, I've decided to launch my new site at my very own and very first domain, skatoolaki.com. It isn't completely complete - but please enjoy what is there so far. Fans of my old site, Shanna's Soapbox (which is still there for a bit) will recognize a lot of old content re-vamped.
Samhain is the start of a new year - a time for endings, and new beginnings!
I'd also, then, like to announce the birth of my very own webring, the Under 5' Ring - for those of short stature and proud of it. So if you're under the 5' mark and have a journal/site, join right now!
I've got a pretty full weekend planned so I don't know if I'll be back on here or not - but if I am not, I want to wish you all the happiest of holidays! Eat some of your favorite candies, watch a scary movie, have dinner with family members that have passed, walk through a cemetary at night, pet a black cat, and say 'Boo' to everyone you meet rather than 'Hello'. It's Halloween!
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Please take a moment to read this article from Yahoo! "Oddly Enough" News:
'Drunk' on Herbal Tea
Tue Oct 26, 1:33 PM ET
SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - California prosecutors are cracking down on kava-drinking motorists who are driving under the intoxicating influence of the herbal tea.
Following their first successful conviction in June, San Mateo County prosecutors have filed three other cases, after about a dozen motorists had been pulled over in recent years, said San Mateo Deputy District Attorney Chris Feasel on Monday.
Kava, while not considered as a drug by federal health officials, is classified by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration as a nutritional supplement that can be used to relieve anxiety.
Motorists under the influence of Kava had a "thousand-yard stare," Feasel said. "They're drooling on themselves sometimes, their motor function is so bad," he added.
He said that police had pulled over kava-addled motorists who were swerving, veering into other lanes and drifting onto the road's shoulder.
"Kava basically has the opposite effect of alcohol," Feasel said. "Kava affects your motor skills before it affects your mental abilities."
The June conviction is believed to be only the second successful one in the country, following a 1996 case in Utah.
In the pending cases, motorists have admitted to drinking between 10 to 20 bowls of the bitter tea, which comes from the kava root, a member of the black pepper family.
"We're cracking down on DUI drivers," Feasel said. "Whether it's driving under the influence of kava, or a good merlot or Advil, you're going to be prosecuted."
First, I'd be so totally pissed off if I got a DUI for taking an Advil.
Yet that isn't my reason for sharing this piece. The reason is that if we're going to start pulling people over for "swerving" and "affected mental abilities" due to herbal tea, why aren't we pulling people over for those very things when they are caused by talking on a cell phone?
You KNOW this is one of my BIGGEST gripes. Every day on the way to and from work more than half of the people I see are talking and driving. And they are the ones swerving, getting dangerously close to other vehicles or the shoulder, hitting their brakes for no apparent reason, and driving slowly and obviously not paying attention. I've had people on the phone pull out in front of me because they weren't paying attention. I've had them slam on their brakes because they missed their turn. I've seen them swerve all over the road because they are concentrating more on the conversation going on than on their driving.
This study says that:
We used a high-fidelity driving simulator to compare the performance of cell-phone drivers with drivers who were legally intoxicated from ethanol. When drivers were conversing on either a hand-held or hands-free cell-phone, their braking reactions were delayed and they were involved in more traffic accidents than when they were not conversing on the cell phone. By contrast, when drivers were legally intoxicated they exhibited a more aggressive driving style, following closer to the vehicle immediately in front of them and applying more force while braking. When controlling for driving conditions and time on task, cell-phone drivers exhibited greater impairment than intoxicated drivers. The results have implications for legislation addressing driver distraction caused by cell phone conversations. (Emphasis mine)
So, as I've said before, if drunk drivers are dangerous and therefore it is illegal to drive drunk - then WHY is it legal to drive and talk when it is PROVEN to be as or more dangerous?
ConsumerReports.org says that:
The suspicion about cell phones and cars caught fire exactly five years ago, with a study published in February 1997 in "The New England Journal of Medicine." That study, conducted in Toronto, Ontario, looked at 699 drivers who owned cell phones and had been in collisions. It concluded that when a phone was used while driving, the risk of a collision was between 3 and 6.5 times higher than when a phone was not used. It also concluded that the relative risk was similar to that of driving with a blood-alcohol level at the legal limit, and that cell phones that allowed hands-free operation offered no safety advantage. (Emphasis mine)
in Cell Phones and Driver Distraction 2/02
BankRate.com's Guide to Insurance states:
The Harvard Center for Risk Analysis reported in December 2002 that cell phone use could be faulted in 6 percent of the auto accidents in the United States each year.
in Cell Phone Chatter Can Cause Accidents
So why aren't we doing something? Why haven't other states followed New York's glowing example and made talking on a cell phone and driving illegal? If it's as dangerous as being intoxicated and behind the wheel, HOW can this still be something people are getting away with?
It doesn't take a rocket scientist, or even these studies and articles, to prove that cell phone users who are gabbing while driving are seriously impaired. If you're over the age of 17 and drive a vehicle then you have seen with your very own eyes the ineptitude of these drivers. You've seen them swerving, you've been behind them when they start slowing down or suddenly slam on their brakes. You might have seen them almost hit someone or run a light. I know I have.
The fact remains that a vehicle is a potentially lethal machine and should be operated with respect, and the utmost attention. Would you have half an ear glued to the phone and operate a miter saw? Replace an electrical outlet? Work on the roof?
Let's look at this way - if you're a die-hard talker who thinks it is perfectly okay to gab and drive, answer me these two questions:
1. Would you want your child's bus driver talking on a cell phone while driving your kid to school? Why not?
2. Would you want the pilot of the plane you're riding in talking on a cell phone while he's piloting the plane? Why not?
Talking on a cell phone and driving should be illegal. Period. There isn't anything else to say on the matter.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Last night I was very excited to go down and rent Dawn of the Dead at Blockbuster, which I've heard from numerous people was not only scary but "a really, really good all-around movie."
I left the store hating the entertainment industry, hating Blockbuster Video and hating every no-talent, fresh-faced bimbo and pretty boy picked off the street and falsely served up to the sheeple as "the next, new star".
It wasn't because all copies of Dawn of the Dead were rented out - which I wasn't happy about. No, it was the the reason all copies of Dawn of the Dead were rented out: there were only two shelves of the movie; around 12 or so copies. It was the fact that next to the sparsely-numbered copies of Dawn of the Dead were FIVE FRIGGIN' SHELVES of the new Hilary Duff movie. Five shelves. Of Hilary Disney-Fluff Duff.
I don't know the title, I don't care to know the title, but why were there 3x's as many copies of Duff's flop as there were of this "really really good" movie that did at least fairly decent at the box office?
Duff-Fluff's movie, regardless of the many pre-pubescent and adoring fans she may have, did not do well at the theater. There can't honestly be enough "fans" of hers out there to warrant the number of this movie that sat on the shelves. Apparently there isn't because not all of them were rented out.
It's simply because she's Hilary. Hilary Duff, mind you - another vapid and talent-less wonder in the sea of crap "artists" that has become our entertainment industry.
Frankly, I find it very depressing.
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Really? Who gives a flying fuck? I mean, seriously, does she lip-sync or not? Is that a zit or a freckle on my ass? WHO CARES?! My pinky finger has as much or more talent than Ashlee Simpson and her I'm-so-ditsy-I'm-cute Barbie-reject of a sister.
Honestly, people, seeing this kind of asinine tripe in the headlines is the reason I stopped watching and listening to the news.
This was my weekend:
5:00am Saturday morning woke up
7:00am Saturday morning left the house
4:00pm Saturday evening return home to a house full of people
1:00am Sunday morning the people leave
2:00am Sunday morning I get to sleep
4:30am Sunday morning my friend who passed out wakes up and wants a ride home
5:00am Sunday morning back to sleep
6:00am Sunday morning actually fell back asleep
7:00am Sunday morning woke up
7:30am Sunday morning left the house
9:00am Sunday morning arrived in New Roads
10:00am Sunday morning arrived in Innis for a baby shower
3:00pm Sunday evening returned home
4:30pm Sunday evening finished cleaning up the house from the party the night before
5:00pm Sunday evening took a bath
10:00pm Sunday evening went to bed
It was non-stop, but I really had a great time. The party was something else. Just a little word to the wise, if you're the kind of person who really doesn't like sharing their make-up and you plan to have a gaggle of drunk gay men at your house for a party, hide your make-up bag. I really didn't mind, and they looked so cute with their dark eyeliner and colorful eye shadow, how could I fuss?
Another note, if you're having a party and you are the only sober person there, do not let the drunk people do the cooking. My kitchen, after everyone left, looked worse than the streets of the French Quarter after Mardi Gras. I didn't mind - in fact I found the 2 1/2" high pile of chopped potatoes left rotting on the chopping block so funny (along with the rest of disaster), I took pictures. I didn't know stains came in so many colorful colors and patterns as they did on my stove and countertops.
There was a game of strip poker, and some resulting blackmail photos of breasts and butts. It's common when we all get together for there to be some pretty racy photos in the stack - let's put it this way, none of us could ever run for office. But a good time was had by all.
Though Sunday morning I was lamenting the horror of baby showers, and vowing to come back next lifetime with a penis so I'd only ever have to go to bachelor parties, I did have a very nice time at the shower.
When I got home at 3pm, Baret was still hung over and in bed. He had partied long time.
I spent the rest of the evening getting caught up on bills and important-stuff-like-that. I'm such an adult sometimes.
Last night I was so happy to find my Televisionary Oracle by Rob Brezsny. I'd started it and lost it and have been wanting to get back to it. Of course, I must always remember that generally when I "lose" things it's actually Baret "putting them away". It was in the bookshelf downstairs. I never would've thought to look there because I don't put up books that I'm reading. But Baret puts up anything that's lying around. As you can imagine, I "lose" things quite often.
In closing, I must report that all of the evil Ebay dolls that I blogged about sought their wicked, stuffed and porcelain revenge on me last night. I had a nightmare that terrified me so I was crying out and whimpering loud enough to wake Baret - who woke me (but not before my whimpers turned to all out screams). In the dream, I was lying in bed and just outside the door to the bedroom was a doll lying facedown on the floor. It appeared to be a Cabbage Patch doll. Slowly, the thing began coming towards me - it didn't get up and walk, rather just stayed facedown and slid slowly across the carpet. My cat, JoJo, who was on the end of the bed told me, "There's no one here but us - no one is making that thing move! It's coming! It's coming!" He then ran off - note that I never found it in the least peculiar that he was talking to me. I began crying out because I couldn't move and the doll was sliding up the backside of the bed. I was then aware of the noise I was making and Baret trying to shake me awake, but I was still in the damn dream! The thing was on the bed and sliding towards my leg and I felt pure terror - and started screaming. Then, just before it touched me, Baret got me to wake up the rest of the way. I was so scared I freakin' cried and I was shaking!
I guess this really puts on hold me re-reading two horror stories from my teen years that I was planning to start on this week that involved dolls-that-come-to-life-and-killing, eh?
Saturday, October 23, 2004
It's been awhile since I've ranted about the junk emails people forward me. This doesn't mean I haven't been getting any; just that I've been stewing over it rather than bitching about it. I believe aggravating forwards will forever be a constant in any computer user's life.
I have, however, come up with this: Shanna's List of Email No-Nos Enjoy.
If you send me a .pps, I will delete it.
If you forward me an email with over 2 million >>'s in it, I will henceforth delete every email you ever send me.
If you send me a stupid junk email promising fortunes, coupons, or a place in heaven, I will lose all respect for you.
If you send me a link to an .htm page with loud sounds on it, I will turn the speakers all the way up on your computer when you're not around.
If you send me an email with a dumb joke that claims I must punch any combination of keys on my keyboard to see the punch line, I will pray to the computer gods that your computer crashes.
If you send me a link to an .htm page that is seemingly innocent and then some horrible atrocity suddenly pops on the screen to scare the ever-living-daylights out of me, I will no longer be your friend.
If you send me an immature limerick about how great friends are and how if I'm a great friend I would forward this piece of crap to my friends and tell them so, I will wonder if you ever graduated high school.
If you send me any kind of product warning, potential-homicidal-person sighting, missing child alert, or medical tip without first checking the validity of it at snopes.com, I will personally hire a group of men to lay a crying baby on your doorstep one night who will then spray you with poisonous perfume and stuff leaden lipstick down your throat when you answer the door.
Friday, October 22, 2004
I'm such a geek. I got home yesterday to find a present on my desk from my wonderful also-geeky boyfriend; a 512mb USB flash card!! Oh joy of joys! Ever since getting my 128mb one about a year ago, I truly wondered how I'd lived without it at all. I used to be the girl carrying around 10+ floppies on her person; if I had certain files I wanted, say from my home pc to my work pc, I'd email them to myself. A USB flash card is a must for any on-the-go geek. 512mb, baby - say it with me. No flowers that could wilt or sexy lingerie I may wear once - my man gives me something I can use. Thank you, baby, for your thoughtful geekiness; I love you!
And I would just like to throw my two coppers out there on this whole Jessica Simpson as Daisy Duke mess. Jessica, I never really liked you, but I tolerated you; reserving my vitriol for your more dangerous cousins Spears and Skankuilera. But now, you must die.
You see, this is an insult to the Dukes of Hazzard. I'm not saying it's some fine piece of fiction but it is an old favorite from childhood. I'm not lying to you when I say that written down in my baby book as some of my first words are "Bo Duke" and "Luke Duke". I had the Dukes of Hazzard Hot Wheels cars even. And what I'm trying to say is that ditzy bottle-blonde Simpson is NOT Daisy Duke by any stretch of the imagination! Daisy was not dumb, for one, and I can't see Simpson even being able to act as if she isn't. It's not like I wasn't expecting them to make it campy, but putting Jessica fucking Simpson in the role of Daisy is just, well, stupid. Jessica, Catherine Bach you are not. I'm not even going to talk about the choices for my beloved Bo & Luke...but I'm not at all happy about those either. And Burt Reynolds as Boss Hogg?? Come the fuck on. This has to be the worst case of casting in the history of cinema. Let's hire the dog that plays Lassie to play Roscoe's basset hound, Flash. And throw some spinners on the General Lee and paint Dixie hot pink with some flaming racing stripes. Makes about as much sense.
What's scary was that I was looking up some Dukes of Hazzard trivia since I couldn't remember Flash's name, and I actually remember some of the episodes they're talking about! Note that I was at the age of learning to talk when I used to watch this show. I also saw that you can get the old episodes on DVD. Hmmmmnn....I do have a birthday looming (Nov. 6). And, ohmigoddess, am I totally cheesy for wanting this shirt?! I do, I really do.
It's Friday and I have a busy weekend ahead. I hate that. By time Sunday rolls around I feel as if I got no rest. And I need my rest. Next weekend is Halloween, and that's chock full of parties and goodies and the next we're going to the Houston Renaissance Festival for my birthday. I need a rest! At least we get four days off of work this November. My office is also trying to work out letting us work 4-10s; that'd be *great*. I think everyone should have a weekday off - even if it's just once a month. There are things that sometimes need to be taken care of that you just can't do on a weekend - places that aren't open before you go in and are closing up when you're going home. If I need to get my license renewed, or go to the doctor for a check-up, for example, I have to use my leave time from work to do that. I often wonder how people get anything done working 9-5 7 days a week. 4-10s would rock the house.
Enough rambling. It's FRIDAY, people! I can wear jeans to work and the whole weekend is ahead of us! Have a good one...
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Oh boy. I have the motherlode of all Bad-Baton-Rouge-Drivers stories. And coming from me, you know that's saying something!
Even though I witnessed this insanity with my own eyes, I'm still having trouble believing it even happened. It's just that bad.
For those of you not familiar with the busy four-lane street I live just off, suffice it to say it's one of the worst in Baton Rouge during high traffic times - made worse lately because of the construction on it.
In the mornings, when I come out of my quiet side street, I quickly get into the far left of the two lanes because the right lane is constantly stopping with people turning into their jobs; there are a lot of big office buildings down this road. So it was with much surprise this morning when I realized, at the second light, my lane, the far left one remember, was at a dead stop.
It took an entire light cycle (green-to-red-and back again) for me to get up to the problem, which being in my little car I still couldn't really see. Remember, now, please - already one light has made its cycle. There were two cars in front of me, though I couldn't see the first, and neither were moving even though the light was green and the path ahead completely clear. I saw the car in front of me put on his blinker to move into the right lane but neither of us could get around because of the traffice zooming by in the right lane. As the light turned red again, I groaned. Obviously the person in front of him was broken down.
The light turned green and none of us could get over because of the ever-flowing traffic in the right lane. The light turned red again and then...then...are you ready?
Supposedly stalled car holding up traffic in the right lane for at least three light cycles floors it, runs the light, and turns in front of us all. The bitch was sitting there, not moving, because she needed to TURN RIGHT and she was in the LEFT lane...and rather than go up the street and turn around, she decided to sit and wait (with her blinker on I noted as she made her turn) until the opportunity arose...holding up traffic for, did I mention this?, three whole light cycles.
There must be a god or an angel or something somewhere looking out for me, because had I been the one directly behind her and had I realized what was going on, I would've laid on the horn until she moved and had she not, I probably would not have been able to prevent myself from ramming her.
Sometimes there is a legitimate excuse for road rage.
And why is it you never see cops around when shit like that is going on?! Murphy's Law or something. It really makes you wonder if they shouldn't up the requirements for owning a driver's license.
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
I seriously wasn't going to nab this one from Rose, but everyone else was doing it and then I just wanted to join in the fun:
You are Form 6, Elfin: The Wyld.
"And The Elfin saw the evil and
misjudgement in the world and shot her arrow at
the sky. Bolts of lightning struck the earth
and gave the world balance and
Some examples of the Elfin Form are Demeter (Greek)
and Khepry (Egyptian).
The Elfin is associated with the concept of growth
and balance, the number 6, and the element of
Her sign is the half moon.
As a member of Form 6, you are a very balanced
individual. You can easily adapt to most
situations and you may be a good social
chameleon. You aren't afraid of changes in
your life, but sometimes you evolve too
rapidly, leaving others to think that you are
leaving them behind. Elfin are the best
friends to have because they are open minded.
Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Oddly enough, I haven't seen one other blogger who was #6. Leave it to me to be the odd (wo)man out; but I like it that way.
So just to be a little different, same quiz-maker, different quiz. Take this one, everyone:
Your soul is bound to the Sixth Totem, Gehirn,
Gehirn appears as a claret colored turtle. He
embodies growth, success, evolution, and
progress. He is associated with the color
claret, the season of summer, and the element
of wind. His downfall is forgetfulness.
You are most compatible with Monkeys and Spiders.
Which Animal Spirit Totem Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Saturday, October 16, 2004
Screenshots and a storyline from my The Sims 2 game.
The Pleasant Family is one that came with the game, but it is I who twisted their life into the soap opera it has become.
The Pleasant Family
To be continued...
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Sometimes I'm not right in the head.
Me, rambling on about something or another, "...the year sure has flown by...and I'm getting old. Shit, I'll be 28 next month!"
My sister: "Shanna, you're going to be 27."
Me: "Yeah, 27. Old, I tell ya."
And sometimes I'm just an idiot.
As I was writing this post I had to whip out a calculator and subtract 2004 from 1977, just to be sure.
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Until I have time to post something with a little more meat:
What do you think of my in-the-holiday-spirit new look? It wouldn't be possible without the genius of Rose - so many thanks to her for that. I think I'm going to keep the blog updated with holiday/weird events/whatever suits my fancy themes - so it's always changing. I like change.
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
I can't quite put my finger on what is the most disturbing thing about this article.
I'm referring to the part about the Ebay auction for Britney Spears' wedding underwear. It reads:
..."What Spears' camp does not appreciate is an eBay auction professing to offer "a bra and pair of boy shorts" from her "wedding night."...
In a description of the items on the eBay site, the seller, who claims to have worked the Spears nuptials last month, says the undergarments are "100 percent guaranteed" and, whew, "brand new."
Bidding, which began at $1.04 on Thursday, was up to $14,100 by Friday noon.
Now you decide which is worse:
1. That people are dumb enough to actually believe this is really Britney Spear's wedding-night underwear.
2. That THAT MANY people did believe *and* put up money for Britney Spear's supposed wedding-night underwear.
3. That some dumbass auctioning off a pair of $2 Wal-Mart panties almost made over $14,000.
Tough one, isn't it?
Monday, October 11, 2004
Baret and I's attempt to "get away from computers" for a weekend turned out just the opposite. We'd been hired to clean up a company's computers, but the job took about three-hours-longer-than-planned, which ended up canceling out the plans we'd made for that evening to "get away" together.
But it still worked out. Instead we rented a hotel room where we were (about an hour away from home), went out to eat and stayed up late drinking wine and playing cards in our room.
We also resolved our relationship problems and have decided to give it another go - thanks to everyone for their kind thoughts. I've just got to appreciate my man a little more and try to be a bit more helpful with the day-to-day household stuff; as it is he does everything which makes him feel more like a slave than my much-loved man. We've both agreed to make some changes, and so far things are going great. The magic is back - for a time at least. We'll see how it goes. No one ever said relationships were easy; and if anyone did, they were completely stupid.
The most memorable part of the weekend had to be the bling-bling housekeeping at the hotel where we stayed. We were walking back to our rooms after breakfast, and the maid was busy knocking on doors and trying to get in to clean the rooms. As she walked from one door to the next I noticed that her hot pink sweatpants had "BLING BLING" on the seat of them. One "bling" for each ass cheek. I'm not sure how much bling bling you can afford working as a hotel room cleaner, but apparently her ass has enough bling all on its own.
In closing, I would like to request that all mothers teach their young daughters how to use public toilets. I'm getting quite fed up with going into public restrooms and finding urine all over the seats, unflushed tampons in the bowls and a million other unmentionable atrocities. Who taught these women how to go to the bathroom?! Men, you have no idea how NASTY women's public bathrooms are. I ventured into a Wal-Mart one this weekend and the choice to be made wasn't "the toliet with no piss on the seat" but "the toliet with the least amount of piss on the seat". I would've held it if I didn't hadn't had to go so bad. There was one toliet where the person had taken about 50 of the seat covers, placed them on the seat all askew and then pissed all over them. And left them there. The thick clump of 50-something seat covers sat there, the center parts half-dragged out of the toliet, covered in pee. She hadn't even flushed. I've seen seats with so many pee sprinkles on them that you swear the woman hovered her ass over the seat and rotated her hips in a circular motion to make sure she covered the entire seat as she peed. They pee on the floor, on the seat, under the seat - they pee in the bowl and don't flush it. For the love of everything good under the sun, women, please, pee like civilized people when in public and teach your daughters to do the same!!
Everyone was waiting to see who would be the third - after the deaths of Dangerfield & Leigh last week everyone knew it death would be coming to some celebrity soon.
Christopher Reeve died yesterday. I'm really saddened by this passing because I feel he was such a courageous and bright soul. I understand what it's like to be incapacitated every day and even I can't truly fathom what it was like to live as he did. And he remained positive about it and his recovery. I read that last year he was able to move his index finger - I can just feel the joy that must've brought him. Something so simple and seemingly inconsequential to a regular person can be the most important thing in the world to the disabled. You can't know what it's like to live a life like that - to wake up every single day and face it anew takes courage that most people don't possess. Christopher Reeve was a remarkable man - a hero without the cape. Though I mourn the passing of such an interminable soul, I take heart knowing that once again he is free and mobile.
I'll post more later today...
Friday, October 08, 2004
This is my Baret. He doesn't like it when I use his name on my blog, and he'll probably like me posting his picture even less. But he's cute when he's angry, so it's worth it.
The day I met Baret he drove me across the street to a gas station so I could buy a pack of cigarettes. He opened the car door for me, and the door to the convenience store, he smiled and chatted with the cashier, and dropped all of his change in the whatever-charity-foundation dish on the counter. Chivalry wasn't dead - all 5'4" of it was standing right in front of me, and I was completely smitten.
This gray-eyed, long-lashed, little Cajun man with the prominent Romanesque nose and soft lips that possessed an infectious smile, a darling accent and the manners of a true Southern gentleman pretty much had me at "hello" - as cliche and cheesy as that sounds.
We'd only been dating a few weeks when my "bad day" (September 7, as I'm sure you've read on here before) came looming. I told him about it, and how rough it was on me. Yet I never expected to get a massively huge arrangement of sunflowers (my favorite flower) delivered to my work on September 7. "I think you've got a keeper," my co-workers chided me. I did indeed.
Yesterday was a wet and blustery day - it had been storming since lunchtime. As I made my way out at quitting time, I was surprised to see Baret just outside the building's front doors, waiting for me. Apparently he'd come into the office sometime that day, but I couldn't fathom why he was waiting for me. It wasn't until I stepped outside that I saw the umbrella in his hand. He walked me to my car, getting wet himself in the process since my cane being in the way prevented him from getting close enough to me to get the under the umbrella too. Three years later and he's still as charming and gentlemanly and thoughtful as the day I met him.
I've been meaning to sit and blog about my wonderful man for some time now, but there was always something else to bitch about, or complain about, or wax poetic on. But it was the shock of possibly losing him that jarred me into true appreciation. Last night we talked about going our separate ways and I can literally hear my heart breaking; I'm in such pain and in such a bad place right now.
I love this man. I love him with every fiber of my being. I love our life together and I can easily live with the things that make it less-than-perfect. I wish he could see that. He thinks he fails me somehow, but the truth is I'm one of the luckiest women in the world! I love his beautiful smile and his perfect, white teeth. I love the way he looks when he wakes up in the morning and the twinkle in his eye when he laughs. I adore his perfect, little lithe body and his fuzzy goatee he keeps up just for me. I could drool all over him when he dresses up, especially when he wears maroon. Swoon.
He's made me a better person. Because of him I'm more responsible, more level-headed and better able to play at being an "adult". Because of him I'm more refined - he educated me about fine wines and good cigars, and has taught me to appreciate nicer things. He's smoothed and polished over my rough spots, rounded my sharper corners but still let me keep some of my edge. He has improved me as a person in so many ways.
I love this man and I don't want to lose him. I know he loves me, too. But is Love enough?
Thursday, October 07, 2004
I've had always a touch of pedaphobia - fear of dolls. Not all dolls, but really, a lot of them. They're creepy, okay?
So it was with complete and utter horror that I clicked on this Ebay auction and saw this doll-you-couldn't-pay-me-a-million-dollars-to-sleep-alone-in-a-dark-room-with. Or any room. Ever.
I mean, come on, you can't tell me something like this is not CREEPY AS FREAKIN' HELL!!?
But I like to be scared, too - Halloween being my favorite holiday since I was old enough to know what holidays were - so I started looking up scary antique dolls on Ebay. And now I will not sleep tonight.
But just look!! Oh, the horror! Who would buy that? Who would make a conscious decision and say, "Yes, I want this absolutely terrifying atrocity in my home with me while I sleep at night."
Even little, seemingly harmless red-demon dolls are scary, are they not?
And NO - the one on the left does NOT look like Shirley freakin' Temple! And the one on the right - what in god's name IS THAT THING?! A doll replica of year-old baby's corpse? I mean - aaaaahhh!!
This is probably just the creepiest photo ever taken. Period. And this one may be a contender for a Tool video.
There is nothing "cute" or remotely "beautiful" about these creatures. People, these are things that go bump in the night. Be very afraid. I am.
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Every waking moment of every day this week I have suffered from headaches. Stress is a motherfucking bitch.
Along with all of the other things that keep me so busy I can't see straight, I'm helplessly having to watch someone that's so precious to my very soul go through something horrible; I can do nothing to ease their pain. This is the cause of my headaches.
But there's no use dwelling on something that nothing can be done about, right?
It always happens in threes - so who will be next? We've lost Rodney Dangerfield & Janet Leigh of "Psycho" fame in the past few days. It's always sad when someone you grew up watching, Dangerfield in this case for me, passes on.
I'm still rejoicing over the gay marriage-ban being thrown out here in Louisiana. You see, they put two things on the amendment - banning gay marriage and banning civil unions. You can't do that. Their greed to have their religious views made the rule for everyone came back to bite them in the ass. Glory be.
I've been meaning to post some The Sims 2 screenshots for Kat but just haven't gotten around to it. I just created the perfect family to showcase, though, so they should be making an appearance soon. I got the idea from a book called "Strange Deaths" that my friend Ryan gave me. It chronicles unusual and interesting ways that people have died - it's a total Scorpio-into-the-macabre kind of book. So this one story told of a stripper named Lucia la Bella who was trying out a new routine that involved twirling a pistol while she twirled around the pole. Apparently Miss la Bella didn't realize said pistol was loaded and during the act it went off and shot a Mr. Mario and killed him instantly. I took this idea and ran with it, creating the la Bella family in my Sims game and adding my own twist to their story - Mario is an ex-roadie for Faster Pussycat who only knew Lucia, an infamous hair band groupie, by name. Years later, in the 90s, Mario happens by a small Georgia strip club and gets to see the Lucia he's heard so much about performing on stage - it's love at first sight. And almost death - as Mario lies recovering in the hospital from the bullet wound, a distraught Lucia visits him every day. The couple fall in love and are married the next week and later have a son who they name after their idol, Ozzy.
Yes, I'm twisted, but it's so much fun.
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
With the kind of week I've been having this was *JUST* what I needed to hear.
I can't even find the words - pure joy. Love will always win, in the end.
Monday, October 04, 2004
So check out this local news article.
The part that got me was not that she ran over her friend, but that:
Knoblauch is on probation for shooting Blakemoor several years ago.
I mean, how sorry can I feel for the woman? She remained friends with this crazy bitch after being shot by her.
Puts a new twist on the old cliche "with friends like these..."
Sunday, October 03, 2004
Best spam email subject line of the past 6 mos:
From Christian Mortgage USA
Jesus wants you to save.
Yet another asinine and absolutely aggravating email from someone at work. There are those that forward stupid things, and those, like this guy, that take the time to type up and send religious lectures. I thought I'd have a little fun with this one; my comments in pink - the original email in bold.
Have you ever been just sitting there and all of a sudden you feel like doing something nice for someone you care for. . THAT'S GOD.
No, that's your CONSCIOUS reminding you that you have to do something nice to make up for driving people insane with all the pointless drivel you send them.
Have you ever been down and out and nobody seems to be around for you to talk to.... THAT'S GOD .. . . He wants you to talk to Him.
No, that's because you're a SOCIAL PARIAH whom everyone hates because you keep junking up their Inbox with dumb jokes, pointless forwards and sickeningly pious devotions.
Have you ever known someone who would do anything to help you through difficult times.... THAT'S GOD .. . . He wants you to not have to face situations alone.
No, those are called FRIENDS. You keep them by not sending stupid things to them via email.
Have you ever been thinking about somebody that you haven't seen in a long time and then next thing you know you see them or receive a phone call from them. . . THAT'S GOD ... there is no such thing as coincidence.
No, those are OLD FRIENDS calling to ask that you remove them from your email's address book because they can't take it anymore.
Have you ever received something wonderful that you didn't even ask for, like money in the mail, a debt that had mysteriously been cleared, or a coupon to a department store where you had just seen something you wanted, but couldn't afford...... THAT'S GOD. .. He knows the desires of your heart.
No, that was just GAS.
Have you ever been in a situation and you had no clue how it is going to get better, but you didn’t give up . . . THAT'S GOD. . ........ He passes us through tribulation to see a brighter day.
No, that's BLIND HOPE causing you to forward that email promising a $200 gift certificate for every forward to everyone you've ever known. Because it could happen, right?
Do you think it's an accident that even some of this means something to you? NOPE!
Well, yeah, like I said, it was the gas.
I was thinking of You! In all that we do, let's totally give HIM thanks and our blessings will continue to multiply. This message was sent to me by a close friend so please pass it on to all of your good friends.
So they can hate you, too. Isn't it
Friday, October 01, 2004
I designed a cute banner for the front page of our agency's website that read "Agency-I-Work-For wishes you a Happy & Safe Halloween". It had two little jack o' lanterns on it - very simple. Of course, I have to get everything approved before putting it up there, so I asked my supervisor what he thought.
"Well," he said, looking thoughtful, "I don't have a problem with it, but you need to check with the head-of-the-agency because some people might. Personally I think it's a good idea, but you know there are some that might be offended by that. Some people consider it a "Pagan" holiday and all."
The sad thing is he's absolutely right.
I cannot get my mind around those people, usually conservative Christians, that reject Halloween based upon its Pagan origins. The reason being that Christmas and Easter have those same, maybe more, Pagan foundations!
Please take a moment to read an essay I wrote on this very subject about a year ago:
Exposing Christian Holidays
A small city known as Plaquemine, Louisiana has a little newspaper that is distributed to towns and villages in Iberville parish. There is a small section for the local folk to post their opinions and thoughts called "Hotline". I'm writing this is in response to a post that appeared in the November 10, 2003 edition of the "Westbank Shopper".
The piece was titled "Time To Take A Stand" and read as follows:
It's that time of year again when evil tries to rear its ugly head and duly influence our children by trying to take their souls. That's right, I'm talking about Halloween, the one night of the year we give free reign to the Devil. Even good Christians give free reign to this holiday and dress their children in ghoulish costumes. What is wrong with you people? Unless we take a stand against Halloween, the day will come when Lucifer himself will rule this country. That day is almost here – look at the evil all around you people.
The "Westbank Shopper" claims to reach "17,000 Postal Patrons". 17,000+ people are reading this and possibly fearing that they are putting their soul, and their children's, in jeopardy by celebrating Halloween. Ignorance spawns fear – which creates hate, prejudice and intolerance. Yet ignorance can be abolished with knowledge.
While Halloween obviously has its origins in Pagan and occult history, the truth is that all of the so-called Christian holidays do. These "holy" Christians that balk at Halloween but celebrate Christmas with reverent faith do not even realize that Christmas and Easter are as Pagan in origin – or more – than Halloween itself!
Let's look at Christmas first. Named as "Christ-Mass", the celebrations surrounding it were considered "blasphemous" by the religious leaders of the day. Historians, and even most Christians, concede that Jesus Christ could not have been born on December 25. There is ample evidence to support this theory; even from the Bible itself:
"And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night." - LUKE 2:8
Shepherds did not tend their flocks in the dead of winter; this is known. The sheep were kept under shelter after mid-October to protect them from the harsh elements. Furthermore, astronomers have stated that the North Star would not have been visible on a December night.
The Bible never officially states that Jesus was born on the date of December 25. So why is this particular date celebrated as his birthday by millions of Christians? In 350, Pope Julius I pronounced that Jesus' birth would be celebrated on December 25. The reason is that in the early centuries, the Christian religion was working on converting Pagans and bringing them to Christ. To make the transition easier, many Pagan holidays were "turned around" to represent Christian milestones. The reasons for celebrating changed, but the dates remained the same.
December 25 is around the Winter Solstice; a time celebrated by Neo-Pagans as Yule or Yuletide. The history of celebrating at this time of year goes back, originally, to celebrations honoring the God Osiris and Goddess Isis. Many other occult religions have celebrated the birth or rebirth of their particular deities at this time of year. In ancient Rome, before the birth of Christ, it was celebrated as Saturnalia, to honor the God Saturn, for example. Ancient Greece celebrated the time of year known as the Winter Solstice with a holiday known as Lenaea, the Festival of the Wild Women. Druids of yore celebrated the changing of the seasons at this time of year with a festival known as Alban Arthuan, and the ancient Incans celebrated this date as "the Festival of the Sun where the god of the Sun, Wiracocha, is honored."
It is not only the date of Christmas that has its origins from other than Christianity itself. The "traditions" that are followed to celebrate Christmas come from a myriad of ancient and occult practices.
What we today know as carolers originated from the Roman festival of Saturnalia. Then known as Mummers, these were a group of people dressed in bright clothes who went from house to house entertaining neighbors during the holiday. Yule logs come directly from the tradition of ancient Pagans burning them in honor of the sun and the sun God Mithras. The kissing under mistletoe comes from these same traditions, and was originally done as part of a fertility ritual. These people also believed that hollyberries were food for the gods.
Not even the Christmas tree is original to this Christian holiday. Early-day Europeans brought evergreen trees into their homes during the cold and harsh winters to remind them that their crops would grow again come Spring. Evergreen was a symbol of fertility and good fortune, and was used in totems and rituals.
And what about Easter? Surely the day celebrated as the death and resurrection of Christ – an act Christians believe gives them their salvation – is sacred and has no "evil" origins?
In actuality, the time known as the Spring Equinox has long been celebrated as a time of rebirth. Being purified by death and an experience in an "evil world" is not a new concept at this time of year. Religoustolerance.com says there are three main themes that have always been celebrated at this time of year:
Easter is not restricted to, nor does it originate from, the Christian religion. Pagan religions throughout history have centered around a dying and rebirthing god.
The Norse Goddess Ostara, honored at the Spring Equinox, was symbolized by the hare and the egg – both representing, as did she, fertility. We have adopted the rabbit and egg as part of our own Easter celebrations. Dyeing Easter eggs comes from the rituals of Babylonians, and ancient Egyptians hung eggs in temples as a symbol of regenerative life.
It is well known that the "Easter lily" has been revered in ancient Pagan traditions as symbolically representing the reproductive organs. Most of the Spring Equinox holidays focused on fertility.
Sunrise service, as is practiced in many Christian churches, heralds directly from the practice of "welcoming the god" during the vernal equinox. The lighting of Easter candles in the church is believed to have derived from the custom of lighting bonfires during the ceremonies that took place this time of year.
Yes, Halloween may seem evil. Yet it is what it is. It does not hide behind presumably "good" Christian holidays that are truly masks of the traditions they originally were formed from. Before you rally against Halloween as an "evil" holiday, take a look at that which you consider "safe" and "holy". Nearly everything in the Christian religion has its foundation in occult practices.
This is why it angers me so to hear people knocking Halloween because of where it was derived. Halloween is no different or more evil than any other holiday celebrated by the majority today. If people would take the time to actually research the history of the religious practices they hold so sacred this kind of ignorance might be abolished.