Strange as it may seem, this life is based on a true story." - Ashleigh Brilliant
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Saturday, October 23, 2004
It's been awhile since I've ranted about the junk emails people forward me. This doesn't mean I haven't been getting any; just that I've been stewing over it rather than bitching about it. I believe aggravating forwards will forever be a constant in any computer user's life.
I have, however, come up with this: Shanna's List of Email No-Nos Enjoy.
If you send me a .pps, I will delete it.
If you forward me an email with over 2 million >>'s in it, I will henceforth delete every email you ever send me.
If you send me a stupid junk email promising fortunes, coupons, or a place in heaven, I will lose all respect for you.
If you send me a link to an .htm page with loud sounds on it, I will turn the speakers all the way up on your computer when you're not around.
If you send me an email with a dumb joke that claims I must punch any combination of keys on my keyboard to see the punch line, I will pray to the computer gods that your computer crashes.
If you send me a link to an .htm page that is seemingly innocent and then some horrible atrocity suddenly pops on the screen to scare the ever-living-daylights out of me, I will no longer be your friend.
If you send me an immature limerick about how great friends are and how if I'm a great friend I would forward this piece of crap to my friends and tell them so, I will wonder if you ever graduated high school.
If you send me any kind of product warning, potential-homicidal-person sighting, missing child alert, or medical tip without first checking the validity of it at snopes.com, I will personally hire a group of men to lay a crying baby on your doorstep one night who will then spray you with poisonous perfume and stuff leaden lipstick down your throat when you answer the door.