Strange as it may seem, this life is based on a true story." - Ashleigh Brilliant


name: shanna
age: 28
sign: scorpio
live: louisiana
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Sunday, October 03, 2004

Yet another asinine and absolutely aggravating email from someone at work. There are those that forward stupid things, and those, like this guy, that take the time to type up and send religious lectures. I thought I'd have a little fun with this one; my comments in pink - the original email in bold.

Have you ever been just sitting there and all of a sudden you feel like doing something nice for someone you care for. . THAT'S GOD.
No, that's your CONSCIOUS reminding you that you have to do something nice to make up for driving people insane with all the pointless drivel you send them.

Have you ever been down and out and nobody seems to be around for you to talk to.... THAT'S GOD .. . . He wants you to talk to Him.
No, that's because you're a SOCIAL PARIAH whom everyone hates because you keep junking up their Inbox with dumb jokes, pointless forwards and sickeningly pious devotions.

Have you ever known someone who would do anything to help you through difficult times.... THAT'S GOD .. . . He wants you to not have to face situations alone.
No, those are called FRIENDS. You keep them by not sending stupid things to them via email.

Have you ever been thinking about somebody that you haven't seen in a long time and then next thing you know you see them or receive a phone call from them. . . THAT'S GOD ... there is no such thing as coincidence.
No, those are OLD FRIENDS calling to ask that you remove them from your email's address book because they can't take it anymore.

Have you ever received something wonderful that you didn't even ask for, like money in the mail, a debt that had mysteriously been cleared, or a coupon to a department store where you had just seen something you wanted, but couldn't afford...... THAT'S GOD. .. He knows the desires of your heart.
No, that was just GAS.

Have you ever been in a situation and you had no clue how it is going to get better, but you didn’t give up . . . THAT'S GOD. . ........ He passes us through tribulation to see a brighter day.
No, that's BLIND HOPE causing you to forward that email promising a $200 gift certificate for every forward to everyone you've ever known. Because it could happen, right?

Do you think it's an accident that even some of this means something to you? NOPE!
Well, yeah, like I said, it was the gas.

I was thinking of You! In all that we do, let's totally give HIM thanks and our blessings will continue to multiply. This message was sent to me by a close friend so please pass it on to all of your good friends.
So they can hate you, too. Isn't it GOD GAS great?!

- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 3:05 AM

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