Strange as it may seem, this life is based on a true story." - Ashleigh Brilliant


name: shanna
age: 28
sign: scorpio
live: louisiana
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Friday, December 17, 2004

Just Because You Have a New Virgin Doesn't Mean You've Got Your Cherry Back, Bitch

This charming message was brought to you my bestest friend, Nodnarb, who sent me this text to congratulate me on the purchase of my new Virgin cell phone which was purchased at his suggestion.

Pre-pay, easy & quick to setup (I never had to talk to a live person), awesome features, and a cool deal - why didn't I know about this phone before now??

Brand (aka Dnarb) told me all about Virgin Mobile's awesome "Live without a plan" setup. It's essentially $20 for 3 months (you can add more if you need/as you need). I bought the phone at Target (the lovely Vox 8610), got online at home and was setup with a working cell phone in under 10 minutes without ever having to interact with another human being. That's my kind of cell service.

I've already downloaded two custom rings, though I'm normally opposed to such things. Music I don't jive with, but I thought these were great:
Duuuude and Special Ed's Boo-Yaaaaay. Right now, though, I'm stuck on "Duuuuude". Baret and I have been calling each other all day singing that little ring. Obnoxious rings aside, I normally only have my phone off of "Silent/Vibrate" when I'm home, so I don't have to worry about it annoying others. Having insufferable rings is one thing - it's quite another to force others to endure your cheesiness. I keep my cheese to myself; private cheese, if you will.

And my voicemail message totally says: "It's Shanna. I'm either not around or driving, so leave me a message and I'll get back in touch with you." Talk and drive? Me? Not in this lifetime. It's so bitchy of me to use my voicemail to make that stab, but I couldn't resist.

So I'm sure there are those of you wondering how such an adamant hater of cell phones and cell phone users could be so excited about getting a cell phone. I love my cell phone - my cell phone; but I am someone who is considerate enough to take steps to make sure my cell phone use does not irritate or endanger others. Most people aren't. It isn't that I hate cell phones, necessarily, you see. I hate the way they have made the masses even more inconsiderate; how the common user is completely oblivious to the people he's bothering or the lives he's jeopardizing - in fact, he could give two shits because being polite, considerate or responsible isn't nearly as important as the conversation he's having at that moment. I hate the way people use cell phones; I hate the way people abuse cell phones. I hate the way some people can't even seem to take a shit without dialing everyone they know to tell them about the shape, color and smell of their by-product.

My cell phone is for emergencies. My cell phone is for getting in touch with people when I'm not near my home phone to give directions, or choose a place to meet up. My cell phone is to call Baret and ask if it's scoopable or non-scoopable litter I'm supposed to be buying. My cell phone is not to gab with everyone I know 24/7 about the dinner I'm eating, the movie I've just come from, or the turn I just missed driving to work. My cell phone is not to keep me connected with every person I've ever come across every free second of my life. I didn't buy it for that, and I will not become one of those people who use it like that. I barely ever answer my house phone - I don't want to be connected. In fact, no one should be that connected.

So, yes, I do love my little cell phone and I'm so happy that Virgin Mobile has the exact-plan-I've-been-searching-for-all-of-my-life. Virgin Mobile rocks - the Vox 8610 kicks ass - and those that talk & drive still suck the wrong end of a donkey, duuuude.

- shanna bared her soul & griped a bit @ 8:00 AM

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