Strange as it may seem, this life is based on a true story." - Ashleigh Brilliant
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True blue Scorpio
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Monday, March 07, 2005
This Is My Life
Yesterday was a lazy, untroubled Sunday; my favorite kind. We lounged around the house and didn't change out of our nightclothes, and there was a yummy, comforting meal simmering in the crockpot filling the entire house with a delicious aroma.
However, around 6pm I decided that I wanted a Coke. There was no Coca-Cola of any kind in the house, so I decided to venture out and get some. Then I realized there were a few things we needed, and with Baret feeling a bad cold coming on, I knew I should stock up on some Echinacea, zinc and Vitamin C pills and tea. I made a little list, and headed out the door.
As you might imagine, shopping isn't exactly "easy" for me. I do the best I can. I take my time, and rest when my legs demand it. Usually I use the shopping cart for support. The more I do it, the easier it gets and it always makes me feel really good when it's all said and done; to know I can accomplish such things if I push hard enough. However, by time I get home I am aching terribly, am usually flushed and sweating and then have to tackle hauling the groceries in from the car. Life is a barrel of monkeys for the mobiley-impaired, folks, let me tell you.
So after shopping, bringing in and putting up all the groceries I was hurting like hell, but rather proud of myself. The crockpot dinner was ready and I was in the best of spirits until I realized something...there was no Coke.
A look at my receipt shows that, yes, I did pick up and purchase the cola that I had originally made a trek out to the store for, but somehow or another, I failed to take that 12-pack of red cans and place them into my buggy after they were rung up. Because this is my life, and this is how it goes.
Every time I try to do something for myself or by myself, I manage to screw it up royally. Like when I went to the movies, and locked the keys in the car. Or when I went to the doctor's office, and went to the wrong one and locked my keys in the car. Really, I'm not that ditzy!
And to think, I make fun of others' stupidity. I suck.
It's not really stupidity, though. I am not stupid. It's a very healthy dose of Blank's Luck, which I've told you about. (Insert my-last-name for "Blank"). If it can go wrong, it will. If there is a way to screw it up, no matter how obscure or rare a chance it could happen, a Blank will screw it up. Or as my Dad so perfectly phrases it, "Blank's Law is 'Murphy was an optimist'." It's my legacy - I was born into it and there isn't a damn thing that can be done about it except to accept it and go on.
Or go have a cigarette on the patio and throw your lighter at the door so that it smashes into a million pieces all over the ground. That works, too.
Welcome to my world.