Strange as it may seem, this life is based on a true story." - Ashleigh Brilliant
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Friday, April 08, 2005
Say it isn't so. And I thought the buffoonery that is reality TV had already reached the depths of depravation and idiocy. That was, until I read about UPN giving the trashy pop-tramp Britney Spears and her insipid, worthless husband their own reality show. Television has reached an all-time low.
UPN's entertainment president, Dawn Ostroff's questionable enthusiasm over the dumb-and-dumber duo's life together boggles the mind. "Even if it were a fictitious story, it would be interesting," she is as quoted as saying. Am I the only one who isn't the least bit interested in the daily mundane activities of these two morons? Famous or not, they're idiots (have you seen the Details magazine interview? It just oozes class.). Yet reality TV appears to be founded on watching idiots make themselves look even more moronic for money and fame, so maybe she's on to something. What does that say about us, though? Do we have nothing better to do with our time than wonder what new tattoos KFed and BSpear are getting next week?
Britney's purported reasons for doing the show are to prove to the world that the rumors about she and Kevin and their relationship together are untrue. What she fails to realize is that we don't care. They make a mockery out of themselvse every time they open their mouths; they don't need to worry about the media doing it for them. This reality show will only further that point.
"From the day that Kevin and I met, there have been constant rumors and inaccurate speculation about our lives together," Spears said in a statement. "I feel that last year, the tabloids ran my life, and I am really excited about showing my fans what really happened, rather than all the stories, which have been misconstrued by journalists in the past. As I mentioned before, I am now going to be expressing my personal life through art."
Brit, considering the music you make, I'll have to excuse you for being so simple-minded as to consider reality TV "art".
Though I really have no desire to sit around and watch Britney try to come up with fresh, new ways to say "motherfuckers", I intend to watch the show. Why, you ask? Well it isn't for the entertainment, trust me. I'm not into TV and even less into reality TV and absolutely opposed to celebrity couples pretending to share their "glamorous yet genuine" lives by taping together a few fairly juicy snippets into something that's half-ass realistic. No, not my bag.
My reasons for wanting to watch are purely for the sake of journalism; or blogger fodder if you want to be unceremonious about it. I can't think of anything more enjoyable than picking apart each episode with a wicked stroke of the keys. That's my plan, anyway. My past attempts at setting up a weekly television-watching schedule have always fallen through. I just have better things to be doing with my time and I hate being pinned down to a schedule - even if it's something I enjoy. So I might catch one or two and I might bash them - it really depends on how I feel at the time. But other than that, I plan to stay as far away from UPN and the Britney-Kevin hour as humanly possible.
The show is slated to be a "documentation of love". Right. We all know it's going to be the documentation of a used-up pop-tart and the low-life who married her for her money; that's why people want to watch it. No one wants to see Britney and Kevin in love - that's not good TV - they want to see them fighting and being wild and trashy. Luckily for the audience, that's what these two do best.
Love. Whatever. I bet the show lasts longer than the marriage.