Strange as it may seem, this life is based on a true story." - Ashleigh Brilliant
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True blue Scorpio
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Wednesday, October 05, 2005
This is what it means to earn a paycheck. This is how it is to be stuck in the "machine". This is my life, and, sometimes, I despise it.
When I'm stressed out, my immune system goes on vacation, and I always end up with a nasty cold. True to form, the enormous amounts of stress I've been under lately is catching up with me and, today, I feel like utter shit.
I'm exhausted and achey - I know I'm running a low-grade fever. I just want to sleep; to rest. But I have so much to do here, I can't stop; I don't stop. It never ends. As soon as I get one thing done, someone else is coming in with something else. It's either setting up employees in new locations who lost offices due to Katrina, or getting ready to launch the new program tomorrow, or doing basic troubleshooting and laptop loading...I'm tired. I'm really tired.
I suppose if the other things weren't present - the insanity and stupidity I've been having to put up with in regards to my promotion - I could handle it better. But nearly two years after when-I-should've-gotten-the-promotion, and they're still dragging ass; well, it's aggravating. The best way I can explain the situation to you is this: My job description (and paycheck) is as a "trainee"; I do 80-90% of what my supervisor does (and some things he doesn't even do, like being the web designer) and he makes three times as much - for doing nearly the same job. Point is, I'm going way and beyond the call of duty here; I'm literally doing a job I'm not being paid to do. The closest comparison I can offer is that it's like being hired, and paid, to wipe the tables but working every day as head manager.
I'm being underpaid so much that the promotion - if it ever happens - will be more than a $5/hour raise. And you can see why it's hard to come in every day and deal with the bullshit I deal with; it isn't worth it. I keep telling myself they'll get off their asses and make this happen for me - get my promotion going - but how long do I wait? How long do I put up with the crap?
I like where I work, for the most part - and I like the vast majority of the people I work with (with some exceptions, of course). I don't want to work somewhere else, but the fact is the people that are running this show are clueless and don't give two simple shits about their employees. They don't care. As long as they continue to collect their fat paychecks and can continue to pretend to work, who cares if the place is falling down around our ears, valuable employees are leaving in disgust, and people are doing jobs they aren't being paid for? No skin off of their self-centered noses, is it?
I'm fed up. Fed up enough that I'm doing something I try not to do much these days - blog about work. But I've got to vent; I've got to get this off my chest. This place is draining my will to live these days; I just don't know how much longer I can deal with this crap.