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Monday, November 21, 2005
Last night my best friend, Nodnarb, and I were discussing the weird quirks of the sound machine he'd gotten me for my birthday, and I introduced him to The God Warrior.
Today, these emails ensued:
Dear God Warrior:
After review of your appliance we have determined that your sound machine is indeed possessed and should be brought to the nearest church for an exorcism. Only a dark sided thing would have a volume knob with a mind of its own.
In Jesus' name, get that thing out of your house.
Dearest Summer Solstice,
Like clothes dryers, I believe you are 100% correct that my sound machine is dark-sided. Perhaps it is the work of gargoyles, but as I was falling asleep last nite, the machine turned itself down so low that you could not hear it. I turned it up a little and it sounded *normal* (not dark-sided) for the first time since the first few days I used it.
Where should I bring such an instrument of evil?
If you need to return it, you would want to go to your nearest Bed, Bath, and Beyond the Dark Side. I don't know if I still have the receipt, but I'm sure they'll do an exchange for you.