Strange as it may seem, this life is based on a true story." - Ashleigh Brilliant
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True blue Scorpio
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Monday, January 09, 2006
You know those "No Solicitations" signs you can hang on your door? I wish they made them for Inboxes. Except mine would say, "No Solicitations OR Stupid, Pointless Email".
I don't know what's worse anymore - the false stories that no one bothered to check out before sending to all 102 people in their address book, the spam, scams, viruses, and Nigerian 419's, or the absolutely retarded, stupid shit people pass on because they think it's "cute" or "funny" - when it's anything but.
Who has time to sit and read "moving" emails about God, friends you ignore, and missing children who are no longer missing? Who wants to sit and sift through pictures of old comic strips, cute puppies & kittens, or hunky men? What sane person has a hankering to watch corny, over-done and supposedly funny videos sent to them by imbecilic pals?
I get enough junk from people I don't know - I surely don't need my address bookers sending me superfluous crap.
Probably the worst person in the world for this, however, is my supervisor. No, seriously. Not only does he send you things he finds f'n hilarious (which aren't), he then comes over to you, makes you open the email and stands behind you while you read/scan/watch it.
It's as awful as it sounds. He's chuckling the entire time, waiting for you to get to the punchline. You do, and you're thinking, "That's it? How fucking dumb!?"
It's like torture because 9 x's out of 10 it isn't even remotely funny or even slightly amusing. Then, because he realizes you've gotten to the end, he's guffawing behind you and you have to pretend to laugh - you have no choice at that point - it would be rude, not to mention awkward, if you didn't feign amusement.
I am now a master at belting out a wholly convincing "fake laugh".